Quick Update on Life

Today we had a check up on the baby. I am so happy to announce that my placenta is no longer anywhere near my cervix and the doctor said that it will not go lower as I grow so I am completely safe from placenta previa. Praise God. The baby was going crazy during our scan. He or she actually flipped totally over during it ha. It was neat to see. The heart rate was 144 bpm and baby looked perfect. The doctor didn't look at the privates at all so it's still a big secret to us all what the baby is. My midwife appointment also went well. We met with our birth videographer/photographer today while we were in Rogers. She is such a doll and I am SO thrilled to of found her. She will be creating a short movie of our labor, birth, and the events before/after it. I've seen these types of birth story movies online for years and absolutely adored them but it was a challenge to find a professional in this area. It ended up be extremely expensive but to me it will be soooo worth it. A dream come true honestly. I will be blogging in detail about this soon. 

As for our farm and it's closing date, we close on Thursday at 3 pm. TWO DAYS AWAY! I'm beyond mind blown that this is finally almost over. We have moved just about everything out of our home aside from the things going with us to our temporary home while our house is being build. I also went ahead and packed our Disney World stuff just to simplify things for me. I didn't want to be stressing over packing our things for vacation when we've finally finished moving and have gotten settled in. 

We close on the farm on Thursday and close on our new place on Friday. The ground work on the new house will start by the end of next week if all goes as planned. Yay! 

 

Thank you so much to everyone who has prayed and sent well wishes for all of these things. It has been an incredible week and I am so unexplainable thankful.

 

 

Pregnancy Update: Week 15 & 16

Week 15:

-Mild nausea and vomitting 

-Acid reflux

-Baby movement daily 

-Nose bleeds every morning

-Dreams that baby is a girl 

-Oddly straight hair (mine has been naturally very curly my entire life)

-Overly emotional. I cry over everything. Literally, everything. My poor husband doesn't know what to think ha. I'm usually a tough person who never cries. I'm not the fragile type at all so this is new to us both. 

-Awful hip and back pain. Early in my pregnancy I was diagnosed with Symphysis Pubis Disfunction and its progressively gotten worse. I wear a pelvic support belt but it's not always helpful. I'm dreading what's to come as I get bigger but a it'll be sooo worth it. 

Week 16: 

-A lot of vomitting. After last week not being as bad I thought we were past this stage in pregnancy but I was wrong. 

-Acid reflux

-Tons of baby movement. It's been so consistent and strong this week. It happened quickly which makes me think that my placenta has moved. I'm anxious to see if it's went in the right direction. Fingers crossed. 

-Nose bleeds daily

-Bump popped out for sure. I feel huge. 

-Straight hair continued (weirdest pregnancy symptom that I've ever had)

-Still emotional

-Still having hip and back problems

-Lost 16 lbs total this pregnancy 

-No gain so far

-Craving spicy and salty stuff 

-I can officially no longer suck my belly in

-Biggest update so far, we undeniably felt the baby move from the outside towards the end of this week. It was such an overwhelmingly happy moment for me and an exciting moment for Brian. I felt it first so I kept waiting to see if it happened again. Sure enough I felt several little thumps back to back so I had Brian feel to see if it was just me who could feel it. It took a few minutes but without me saying a word he looked up at me grinning ear to ear. He could feel it too without me saying when it was happening. I can't wait for the kids to feel it and for it to be stronger. I am so excited. 

 

 

 

Diaper/Birth Bag Must Haves & Labor Plan

 I had a lot of fun packing my baby's diaper/hospital bags. So much fun in fact that I've always had it completely finished by 30 weeks pregnant ha. However, preparing for a birth gender reveal is something that I've never done and it's incredibly exciting. It will be very hard not to pack as if I am having 2 babies. One of each sex. I have already had to down size my 'take' pile a few times. I didn't do the best at sticking to neutral clothes. We all know I'm not a gender neutral fan 99% of the time. It all looks so cheesy and cheap to me. I purchased a lot of gender specific stuff. 

Here is what I ended up packing so far and what I have left to pack: 

-Neutral sleepers

I packed 4 beige, white, and/or grey sleepers.

-Neutral coming home outfit

This is an outfit I had made off of etsy. It's white, black, and mint with matching bibs that have each name on them. It also has a hat and a top knot bow with it.

-White sleeper and personalized hospital hats

-Rainbow outfit

This is another outfit I had made that has matching personalized bibs, a top knot bow, and a hat. It's the outfit the baby will wear when he or she meets the kids. I bought them matching big sisters and big brother rainbow shirts. I can't wait for this moment. It will be priceless and so will the pictures. 

-Gender specific GIRL and BOY outfits

I sent my mom a ton of my favorite personalized outfits. She will order a few of the right ones for the baby's sex and bring it to the birth. 

-Fawn & Sage gender specific swaddler cacoons

I'll be using these in the picture that I post to announce the baby's birth/gender

-Neutral blankets & swaddler

I have a grey and mint fluffy blanket, a handmade crochet rainbow blanket, and a few white muslin swaddlers.

-Hats & Bows

With every single outfit I'm packing there are matching hats and bows to go with them all. 

-Wipes, diapers, lotion, white mittens, white bibs, white socks, burp rags, ect

-Boppy pillow

Brian & I's Bag Must Haves:

-Yoga pants for me 

-T shirts for us both

-Jeans for Brian

-Comfy pants for Brian

-T shirt dress

-Black swim suit top and skirt for water birth (no bottoms for obvious reasons ha) 

-Nursing bras

-Maternity Robe (Mine is from Pink Blush)

-Birth plan (Multiple copies in case of transfer) 

-Insurance cards, co-pays, drivers licenses, ect 

-Socks, undies, lotions, medicine bag, toiletries, make up, glasses, hair brush, chap stick, phone & computer chargers, ect

-Camera, tripod, & batteries

-Gum, snacks, quarters, magazines, books, iPod, headphones, ect 

-Candles & lighter for water birth

-Fresh flowers and powder for milk bath after birth 

-Lace gowns with matching under wear for milk bath

-Breast pump and storage bags

-The kids big sibling outfits 

Pre-Labor Tips:

-Always have a large amount of gas in your vehicle's gas tank

-Install the infant carseat and have it checked at the local police station or fire deptarment 

-Keep birth bags in your car trunk/back or handy by your door in your house

-Have a pre-addressed plan and call list for your children when you go into labor

Our Labor/Birth Plan for the Kids:

As always my mom will come to the birth center or hospital right away. I like having her there while I am in labor. I will call her first and give her the heads up that it's show time. My dad and my niece are going to keep the girls until it's time for them to come to the birth. I want my dad and kids close when the baby is born so they can meet him or her right away. I've always done it this way and it's important to me. 

The next call we make will be to my in laws. They are keeping Hudson until it's closer to actual delivery. My mother in law will attend the actual birth. I don't want them to be there during the whole labor though so we will wait to have them come when my dad comes that way they are all there at the same time but Brenda can still come in for the birth. 

I'll bring the kids big sibling rainbow shirts with me to the birth so that I can get the them all dressed up and cute for meeting their new sibling. It's simpler that way ha.

*Obviously if there's an emergency or baby comes way too fast some of this changes a bit but the end plan is still the same. My in laws keep Hudson, dad keeps the girls, mom comes as soon as I head to have the baby, and the rest all come asap if baby is born too fast. 

 

Maternity & Newborn Photography Session Must Haves

Photography is something that I have a huge love for. We do family photo sessions every season just about and aside from that I take pictures of the kids daily. I am a big believer in the importance of capturing memories in videos and pictures. I don't have many pictures with my papa and that bothers me a lot so I think that's where my passion for pictures started.

With this probably being our last baby I don't want to have any regrets. I don't want to skip things that I wanted to do even if that means it gets expensive ha. I have many regrets with my other children as far as pregnancy pictures goes. I wish that I had done professional maternity pictures with Charlee and Hudson because I love my maternity pictures with Andlee. 

I LOVE my kids newborn pictures so I can't wait to add the new baby's pictures to the album.

Okay enough of that, onto the purpose of this post! 

For maternity pictures we are doing an outdoor session. One setting will be in a large open flower field, one will be in the creek, and the milk bath one will be in a claw foot tub in the field.

This is my must haves for our maternity photos:

-Flower crowns for the girls and I

-Blush and beige tulle dresses for the girls and I 

I already have these. They were very expensive dresses from Dollcakez and Leah Keller gowns but they are stunning and will be used for family pictures after the baby is born too. 

-A black lace gown and a white lace gown

They are the same exact gowns you see below in the milk bath side by side of the same girl in different colored gowns.

I purchased them from Wish.com and they were super cheap.

-Suspenders for the boys with brown shirts and beige pants

-A large variety of flowers for the milk bath

One setting will be in a white gown with girly colored flowers around me and one will be in a black gown with boyish colored flowers.

This is a few general examples of what we are doing:

Our dresses:

For our family of 6/newborn pictures one setting will be outside in an open field, one will be another milk bath setting exactly like the maternity pictures but girly for a girl and boyish for a boy (I'm going to do nursing pictures in the milk bath as well as basic newborn pictures), and the rest will be inside a studio. 

Newborn session must haves:

*I have included must haves for both sexes. My mom will purchase the proper items (that we don't already have)depending on the baby's gender.

Girl:

-My wedding dress

-A newborn flower grown

-A blush colored swaddle cloth

-A rainbow bow

-A shabby chic floral bow

-A Harry Potter bow

-A light pink wooden chair

-Flowers 

Boy:

-A beige swaddle cloth

-A crochet deer outfit

-A wooden crate

-Toy tractors

-A lot of deer antlers

-Hunting gear

-A big tree stump

Both sexes:

-A white swaddle cloth

-A maroon swaddle cloth

-A Harry Potter scarf

-All of the Harry Potter books

-A white 'cloud'

-A painted rainbow back drop

-A fluffy neutral blanket 

-Towels

-Little umbrella 

I am so excited about these photos. It seems like a lot and it may take 2 newborn sessions but I'm happy to swallow those expenses. Photography is such special thing to me. I am super picky about it but I love it.

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

My Newborn Must Haves List:

With our chaotic and annoyingly stressful lives due to moving and living in limbo while we wait to close on our farm I have often found myself thinking of the future. The idea of this all being done excites me greatly but it also will be the beginning of another busy chapter. Building a home, planning 2 birthday parties, planning a vacation, preparing to have 3 children in school, preparing for another move, and preparing to welcome a newborn in to our family is all going to happen with in the next 5 months. The fact that we will still be so busy has me planning well in advance for the things that I can do now while we wait for the next chapter to start. One of those things was creating a must haves list for the baby and beginning to get those items together. I have 3 large tubs that are just for new baby stuff so that we can keep it close and easily accessible incase the baby decides to come before our new house is built. I will probably go into detail about a few items throughout this list but other items will just be an 'in general' kind of thing. 

Here are my Baby Lane must haves:

-Newborn disposable diapers!

We cloth diaper but newborns are so tiny that they do not fit into one size diapers. You can purchase newborn sized cloth diapers but I think that's a waste of money so for the first month or so we will use disposables. I personally prefer Pampers. I found that most other brands leaked on all of my kids. If Pampers doesn't work for this baby for whatever reason it's no big deal to exchange diaper brands. 

-Wipes, lotions, soaps, medicines, diffuser, essential oils, socks, bibs, burp clothes, mittens, ect

-Sleepers, onesies, and comfortable outfits for basic everyday wear

I have a blend of neutrals, boys, and girls stuff.  

-Cute personalized outfits 

I have ordered many etsy outfits that I had custom made. Some of them are neutral with a matching top knot bow and hat as well as separate bibs that have Granger and Eilee on them. My favorite etsy shop for these outfits is Simply Spinning Thread. Others outfits are as girly/boyish as it gets. These types of purchases got a bit out of hand though so that's why I decided to let my mom find out the baby's sex. I will just send her the links to everything else that I want and she can purchase the proper items. She can also take our gift cards and load up on some gender specific stuff for us to have right away for that month or two after the baby is born. 

-Blankets, swaddlers, and swaddle cacoons

I have recently became obsessed with Mint and Arrows (newly changed to Fawn and Sage) swaddle cacoons. They are adorable and light weight. I plan to announce the baby birth/gender with a picture of the baby in one of these. I ordered a super girly floral one with a matching bow and I ordered a boyish one with a hat for a boy. 

-Baby Tula Carrier

I have 2 of these and I love them. If you are looking for a baby carrier I highly recommend Tula. 

-Pack and Play

Our babies have all slept in our rooms in a pack and play until they were out of the SIDS risk stage so for me this purchase is one that I didn't take lightly. I researched the crap out of what was safest and the most comfortable for the baby. I ultimately decided to go with the Graco Cuddle Cove Rocking Seat Play Yard. 

-A infant car seat

Again this was something that I put a lot of research in to. We've had Britax, Baby Trend, Graco, and Chicco infant car seats. I wasn't a huge fan of any of them except the Chicco. People complain because they don't snap into carts but I have 2 thoughts on that. One, I RARELY take my babies into public places where a cart would be needed. Two, it's a huge safety hazard to put your car seats on to the top of a cart. The carriers should go IN the cart, not on top. I have not purchased our carseat yet but I have narrowed it down to two options. 

The Chicco Singapore and the

Maxi-Cosi Mico Max 30 Moon Birch 

-A swing/bouncer

My babies all loved their swing so this was something that was an absolute must for me with this baby. I bought a Mamaroo because I've heard endlessly great things about them. They are a little on the pricy side in comparison to most swings but I got ours on a Black Friday sale. 

-A diaper bag

I have a large purple Coach diaper bag that I adore. If the baby is a boy I might invest into something less girly but for now I'm not ready to give up my Coach. 

-Breast feeding gear

A wrap/cover, boppy pillow, storage bags, a breast pump, ect. I will not be purchasing bottles because I do not intend to use them. If there is an emergency it will be no problem to get those if I absolutely have to. I also don't plan to introduce a pacifier until we have successfully established a nursing latch routine. I believe that doing this too soon with Charlee is why she started refusing to lack. It was a major struggle to get her latching easily and it wasn't a problem prior to giving her a pacifier. I know that they can reduce the risk of SIDS so I'm definitely open to using them but not until the baby is out of the new to nursing stage. 

-Owlet Monitor

A breathing monitor to prevent SIDS is a must this time. I can't tell you how much sleep Brian and I lost with our kids just because we'd sit and watch them sleep. We were terrified of SIDS. I'm hoping that this monitor will help give us a little relief.  

This will be my first of several posts about preparation for the months to come. I'll be doing a newborn photography must haves post, a 'what will be in my diaper/birth bag' post, a birthday parties prep post for Hudson and Andlee's birthday parties, and a pre-planning for labor/birth post. I will also do a nursery tour/essentials when we are all moved in. 

Do Not Compare Your Children

Do not compare them to other kids and do not compare them to your own kids. This is the greatest and possibly hardest lesson that I've learned as a mom of multiple children. It's our nature to compare our kids or worry about them. From 'Baby #1 crawled by now so something must be wrong with baby #2' to 'That kid is my kids age and can already ride a bike without training wheels'. It's just natural to compare but we have to stop doing it! I realized after my 2nd daughter was born that comparing my children was degrading to them. Children grow at their own paces and even if there is a disability or delay, that does not matter. Our children are perfect exactly as they are. We all say that but do we all actually live by that? As moms we aren't oblivious to the differences in our kids. We know them better than they know themselves. We know when one has the memory of a Harvard scholar and when one would rather go on their own way than listen to what you're teaching them. We know when one is a lazy walker and when one is the baby hulk who runs by 7 months old. We know when one can write their name and when one could care less to even try. There are unavoidable differences from child to child but there is a massive difference between comparing them and simply being aware of their specific needs in separate areas. We have to embrace their uniqueness. We have to understand that they will not learn at the same rate. They will not love the same things. They will not have the same kind of friends. They will most likely have different life goals. They might even have different sexualities. But you know what, that's a very beautiful thing. That's why we love them. That's why we should appreciate the diversity in the world. They each bring something different to the table. They each have their own gifts and traits. They are themselves and we have to cherish that. We have to give guidance and extra attention as needed but also respect that they might not be ready to take our lead. They won't always listen to our advice. They won't always do things that we are proud of. One may be a breeze to raise and one may be as wild as it gets. That's okay. At the end of the day all that matters is that we took care of them, helped them through struggles, and most importantly loved them for exactly who they are. Do not compare your kids. Accept them and embrace them. Don't hold them to the world's standard or even your own. Have faith in them and respect that they are all going to be different. There are a million ways to still guide them without pushing them into believing that they aren't good enough. One of my biggest goals as a mom is for my kids to always know that no matter what they do I will still love them and be there for them. They can trust me to love them endlessly and never be afraid to come to me with their problems or what's on their heart. People say that you're supposed to be their mom not their friend but I don't agree with that. I believe that they should always know that I will always be their mom first but also A FRIEND second. There IS a way to be both. To discipline them when they need it and to lend an ear when they need someone to turn to. After all no one wants better for them than I do so no one is going to be there for them more than I will be. They might not like what I have to say and they may even get into trouble at times after they tell me something but they will always know that it's from the most genuine place possible. 

Change in Plans About Not Finding Out Our Baby's Gender

Originally we said that NO ONE would know the sex. Not the doctors. Not the ultrasound techs. Not family. Not us. No one! However, after spending over a grand already on cute boy and girl clothes something has to give. I can't keep buying clothes for both genders. I'm not one to ever resell things even if it's brand new in tags. I regift it or donate it and that is my plan with this stuff too but my investments have became overwhelming. Not to mention if you personalize things, which I have been, you can't do anything with that stuff that ends up not being the baby's gender/name (unless you're using the same name with the same spelling but that still restricts you to neutral things). It's a total waste of money. Atleast for us it is because our baby names aren't common so finding someone to give those personalized outfits to would be very hard. I have to stop and stick to neutrals and gift cards. I hate that because I dislike nearly all neutral things but even when I do buy neutral I buy bows and hats to match those outfits to be safe which costs extra money. I'm a mess, I know. Gift cards are the best bet for us so I can do a huge online shopping haul after baby is born without spending all of that money at once. It'll be built up over time on the cards. We've already purchased several actually. 

I just want the baby to be as stylish and personalized as his or hers siblings were starting the moment that they were born. I don't want to be confined to whites, creams, yellows, and mints. I also have very gender specific newborn picture ideas in mind and if I bought all of those props I would be out a huge amount of money. I've pondered a solution to this for awhile and I have decided that someone will know our baby's sex. Someone that I can trust and that is the best secret keeper ever. Someone that I KNOW won't ever slip or tell a soul. Someone that has never let me down. That someone is my mother, of course. Her and my dad are going with me in 2 weeks to an ultrasound studio and there mom will be told privately by the tech what the sex is. I don't want it written down or anything. Verbal only. I have decided to do a private studio because I see my doctor way too much to trust him not to slip up and say 'he' or 'she'. I want the tech to be someone that I'll never see again. I am adding a bunch of stuff to my moms etsy cart for both sexes including outfits, blankets, newborn photography props, ect. She will purchase the things for the correct gender and because it'll be from her etsy account and shipped to her address there will be no paper trail for me to see. Yes, I've thought of literally everything and covered all of my possibilities. There will be no room for error ha. I DO NOT want to know this baby's sex. That is extremely important to me. I am so relieved to know that this baby will have everything gender specific that I wanted for him or her. I have so many cute ideas and with this most likely being our last I want to do all of those things for this baby just like we did for our other babies. Custom props and personalized outfits have long turn arounds. I couldn't of ordered those things after the birth. They wouldn't of gotten here while the baby was still a newborn. I can't wait to meet this little rainbow and see all of these adorable things on him or her. It'll be very hard for me not to keep buying like a mad women but when I see stuff that I like I will just give my mom money and send her the links to those outfits. It's a win all around.  

It's Inauguration Day!

Today America 'welcomes' it's 45th president of the United States yet today our nation does not stand united. That is to be expected with any election because our party of choice may of not won but this time it's different. It's overwhelmingly intense. Protesting. Threatening. Friends losing friends. Families unable to discuss politically views without a fight. It is our right to disagree. It is our right to express our beliefs. It is our right to protest. I cherish those rights. However, nothing changes the fact that Donald Trump IS our new president. The same constitution that gave us all of those rights to stand up for ourselves also gave us the right to vote and America voted him in. 

I have always promised to stay transparent with you guys and here's the truth without going into extreme detail about my feelings on the matter, I DID NOT vote for Trump. I DID NOT vote for Hillary. I voted independent because I believe that BOTH are incapable of leading America the way that it should be led. I think that Donald Trump is a fit throwing, racist, sexist, vulgar, disrespectful rich brat who has had everything in life handed to him. I think that he lacks just about every quality that I want in a president. I think that being rich does not always mean that you are smart. Expecially when that person has had most of their fortune handed to them or they have used their money hire professionals to guide them. His character is shit. He's a pig in every sense of the way. His actions have shown us that a countless amount of times. I obviously do not like the man BUT I choose to find the good in him. Like, I do stand with him on a few topics. I believe in our right to own guns. I am pro life. I support our armed forces. I also know that not being a Trump supporter will not change the outcome of anything. He is MY president. If you live in America he is YOUR president too, by the way! I do not want him to fail us. I do not wish failure or harm upon him. I do not see my Trump supporting friends any differently than before. I respect them and their views. I pray that he blows through this term and is the best president that we have yet to see. I want that for us. I want that for America. I am not butt hurt that he won. I stand strong in our rights including the one that voted him into the White House. I love our country and I only want the best for it despite the card that we are delt. We have to unify! We have to put our big girl panties on and accept what is. We have to pray for our nation. We have to do all that we can to help Trump succeed! I am proof that you do not have to be his supporter to support the success of America.

UNITED WE STAND! 

Divided we fall. Take your pick! 

Being Sick & Being Mom

The past week I've had off and on migraines. Anyone who has experienced migraines knows just how crippling they can be but for me, it's even more intense. I have hemopledgic migraines and a mini stroke disorder. When I get these migraines they often lead to strokes, imitate a stroke, or indicate that a stroke is happening. I have an emergency medicine that I can take to help stop them if I catch it soon enough but with moving I had packed away most of the medicine and put it into storage. I rarely have this extreme of a migraine and I assumed that we'd be moving soon so I didn't think twice about packing up the medicine cabinet. I was finally on the mend but now I have an insane sinus infection. My head feels like it's seriously going to blow up. My entire sinus cavity is full of pressure and fluid. My ears hurt. My neck hurts. My eyes hurt. My nose hurts. My temples hurt. I don't want to do anything but lay down in a dark room however, we all know that when you're a mom life doesn't slow down because you feel like shit. Not only do I have the typical craziness of raising 3 preschoolers but I'm also still throwing up daily from pregnancy and in the middle of moving. My husband helps as much as he can/is allowed but life must go on for him too. He has a job that our family relies on financially and I feel like he deserves to come home and rest so I tend to not let him help as much as he wants to. Mom life is hard but we have to remind ourselves that on our worst days, we are still badasses. Not everyone can do what we do and do it full heartedly. Don't get down on yourself if you feel overwhelmed. With all that's on our plates at any given time we wouldn't be doing something right if it wasn't a little overwhelming. You've got this. I've got this. We've all got this. 

That being said, I am so ready to feel better and for life to slow down a bit. I wish that I could snap my fingers and be moved into our new temporary home. I wish that we were in the process of building our cozy dream home and done with the ups and downs of waiting to close on the farm. We are days away though and I can't wait. We are having a huge celebration with our families when this is over with ha. Steaks and beer for everyone (but me) 😉

Why I Blog...

I blog for many reasons. From the time that I was a preteen I was all about journaling and list making. I'm a chronic planner/writer. So much so that my mom would find out about secrets that I had by reading my journal. I thought that I hid it super well and that she had magical powers because she always knew what was going on in my life ha. Joke was on me. I had a detailed 10 year plan about my future in 8th grade. Eighth grade y'all. What middle schooler has a 10 year plan? Well, I did. My room was always full of post it notes and lists. That's just who I am. My mom is the same exact way too. My dad is a major lecturer. He always has books of advice to give and sends mile long texts. I definitely got a double whammy in the whole natural born writer department. (I love you guys though and love all of your long words of wisdom) 

This instinct is also why I kept pregnancy journals and private blogs. I love looking back on things and I love being organized. Not just lists and journaling either. I was writing short stories when I was a child and reading 'big girl' books like crazy. My mom saved a lot of my stories. It's pretty comical to read now that I'm grown and still writing. My niece and I just read one of my favorite childhood stories that I wrote. It was one about me riding on the back of a huge owl. We became best friends and he turned out to be my protector. He lived in a forest full of fairies and other owls. Fantasy was my favorite thing to write about and it still is to this day. My most recent story is about a mind reader and a small town girl from Maine. The mind reader constantly has dreams about this girl that he has never met. He ends up falling in love with her through his dreams and spends years searching for her. It's been a lot of fun to create such a passionate fantasy love story. 

Anyways back to why I blog. I blog for my own personal pleasure. If my blogs help or encourages anyone along the way that's a major goal achieved but I do not blog because someone else blogs and I wanted to 'copy them'. I do not blog so that people know details about my life and think that I'm the shit. I do not blog because it's the cool thing to do. I do not blog to be a show off mom. I do not blog so people think that I have a perfect little life. I blog with complete transparency. I blog with no filter. I blog about my opinion on things even if it's not the popular opinion. I blog because I've blogged all of my life in one way or another. It makes me happy. It's fun to look back on. It's something to do in my down time. I could honestly care less about being like other moms or bloggers. There has been many times when I don't blog about something that I wanted to simply because someone else blogged about it before I was scheduled to post mine. There are times when I don't do certain things just because I don't want to be like someone else. I have altered and changed plans before to not conform to society. I have waited years to read a popular book series just because I HATE band wagoners and I refused to be one. I have changed or excluded baby names from our list because someone else used those names first and I don't want to be like anyone else. I have lied about things  that my children had been doing for months and said that they couldn't do it yet just to shut up a competitive mom that was comparing her kid to mine. I have even changed our future home plans recently to keep our home from looking anything like anyone else's that we know. I am proud to be myself and I have zero desire to be anyone else. I have everything that I could possibly want and I count my blessings a million times a day. I do have things in common with other bloggers/moms but that is the extent of it. I don't change for anyone or do things just because some else did. We all blog for different reasons and for me I blog for myself. I don't care if no one but me ever reads my stuff. I enjoy blogging and I enjoy the simplicity of looking back on things that I've posted on the blog. My advice to moms who are considering starting a blog is this: Do it for you! Don't let anyone make you think that you just did it to be like them. Don't let anyone keep you from writing what you want to write even if it's disagreeing with their opinion on things. Don't let negative people make you doubt your choice in blogging. Be transparent. Write what you want to write. Don't worry about if it's the popular opinion. Understand that at times you and other bloggers WILL blog about similar stuff. That's just a given. Mom life has many topics and every other mom blogger in the world is going to touch on those topics at one point or another. They aren't copying you and you aren't copying them. Blogging is a wonderful tool and I think just about everyone should do it. In fact, I'm happy to aide you in any way that I can. I want to inspire my readers to find their inner writer. I want to hear what everyone has to say even if we don't agree on things. I find beauty in diversity. 

Now go and blog my friends. Write your little hearts out. Email me your blog links so that I can follow you and feel free to ask me whatever you want to about starting a new blog. 

Current Situation

Today I kept the girls home from school. I've missed them during the days and recently I've had 3 separate friends lose their babies. It crushes my soul in the deepest of ways. I can't imagine as a mom what it would be like to lose your child. Their stories kill me. So much heartbreak. I just wanted my kids close today. Instead of my typical day spent cleaning and working on stuff around the house we're spending it doing nothing but cuddling. The house chores are irrelevant. I just want to hold my babies and play with them. I want them to have all of my attention today. We are so blessed to have our children here with us and healthy. There are so many mommas out there who do not have that luxury. Hold your babies close. Put down the laundry and spend time with your kids. They are what matters in life and we aren't promised tomorrow. 

Here's to a day of pure laziness. Cuddling, Disney movies, playing games, dirty house, and a Crock Pot dinner it is. 

New Prenatal Care Plans & Birth Plans

As I mentioned in my last post this week was full of appointments with health care professionals. We met with my OB, my midwife, my nutritionist, and my weight loss surgeon. During the ultrasound with my OB the placenta placement was questionable. I go back in 3 weeks to determine if placenta previa is an issue. If it's partially covering my cervix the odds of it moving enough for me to deliver vaginally are fair. That happened with my 2nd child. But if it's fully covering my cervix a caesarean will be likely. I'm trying not to worry much over any of this because I'm still early in pregnancy and things can change. Plus we do not know if this is even an issue at all yet. We will have a better idea on the 31st. 

Our next appointment was with my dietitian and weight loss surgeon. They both were comfortable with my weight loss and blood levels as far as protein, iron, calcium, b12, vitamin d, ect goes. I control those with a large amount of supplements because of the surgery. They did however express concern for the baby to be at risk of low birth weight simply because I can't physically consume what a pregnant women should. My stomach holds 4 oz at a time and I digest things very slowly now. I struggle to get in more than 600-700 calories a day. I live on supplements and they give us what we need but nothing more. This will have to be monitored with ultrasound scans through out the entire pregnancy. The farther along I get the harder it'll be for baby and I to get extras so that's specifically when it's the most important to monitor his/her's growth. Of course it is scary for me to think about but it also raised the question of how that changes my plans to switch fully to the birth center for my prenatal care. The birth center does not do ultrasounds. Obviously if I have placenta previa that's irrelevant because I will have to deliver in a hospital but placenta previa aside this news just left me unsure so I made an appointment with my midwife. 

Yesterday we met with our midwife at the birth center. We discussed everything that we've learned this week and came to the conclusion that I'd continue to see BOTH my OB and my midwife until we had solid answers or any reason that I was no longer adequate for midwife care. 

With this most likely being our last baby imagining that I will not get my dream birth is unfortunate but ultimately baby's health is what matters. I will proudly do what I have to to keep him/her safe. For now I will pray hard that everything goes perfectly but this news also lead me to reexamine and update my pregnancy and birth plans.

Prenatal Care Plans:

Originally I was going to stop seeing an OB after my anatomy ultrasound scan and switch fully to my midwife. However, now that the baby will need regular growth check up scans I feel that it is best to continue my care with the OB as well as recieve care from our midwife. I've began scheduling those appointments for the same day to simplify life. 

Birth Plans:

I've prepared for just about every outcome in detail. I am unsure of where I'll deliver and who will deliver me. In a perfect world my husband will deliver me under my midwife's care but it's possible that she will deliver me at the hospital in Rogers or that her partnering OB staff will deliver me via C Section. Either way I will be delivering in Rogers, AR. My birth plans with our other children were throughout but my wishes weren't respected at all so this time I hadn't put much thought into a birth plan. In my experience they are pointless but I believe that's not the case with most health care facilities. I know for sure that it's not the case with the birth center. They are all about mother lead birthing and you call the shots granted no emergencies arise. With multiple possibilities on the table for how things could go I put a lot of thought into my new plan. With the help of a birth plan template I covered all opinions in great detail plus added a few of my own. I will adjust the original plan as needed depending on further diagnoses but the basics of each outcome are addressed in the new plan.

Full name: Callee Jo'Ann Lane

Partner’s name: Brian Joe Lane

Midwife: Brittany & Brennan

Doctor: Subject to change 

Due date: July 8th, 2017

Baby's Gender: Unknown

Please note that I:

[ ] Have group B strep

[x] Am Rh incompatible with baby

[ ] Have gestational diabetes

My delivery is planned as:

[ ] Vaginal

[ ] C-section

[x] Water birth

[ ] VBAC

I’d like:

[x] Partner: Brian

[x] Parents: Le'Ann & Brenda

[x] Other children: Charlee, Andlee, & Hudson during labor only not present for birth

[x] Midwife: Brittany & Brennan

[x] Other: Family friend/photographer 

…to present before AND/OR during labor

During labor, I’d like:

[x] Music played (I will provide)

[x] The lights dimmed

[ ] The room as quiet as possible

[ ] As few interruptions as possible

[x] As few vaginal exams as possible

[x] Hospital staff limited to my own doctor and nurses (no students, residents or interns present)

[x] To wear my own clothes

[x] To wear my contact lens the entire time

[ ] My partner to film AND/OR take pictures

[x] My partner to be present the entire time

[ ] To stay hydrated with clear liquids and ice chips

[x] To eat and drink as approved by my doctor

I’d like to spend the first stage of labor:

[ ] Standing up

[ ] Lying down

[ ] Walking around

[ ] In the shower

[ ] In the bathtub

[x] All of the above

I'm not interested in:

[x] An enema

[x] A urinary catheter

[x] An IV, unless I’m dehydrated (and a heparin or saline lock IS/IS NOT ok)

I’d like fetal monitoring to be:

[ ] Continuous

[x] Intermittent

[ ] Internal

[x] External

[x] Performed only by Doppler

[x] Performed only if the baby is in distress

I’d like labor augmentation:

[x] Performed only if baby is in distress

[ ] First attempted by natural methods such as nipple stimulation

[ ] Performed by membrane stripping

[ ] Performed with prostaglandin gel

[ ] Performed with Pitocin

[ ] Performed by rupture of the membrane

[ ] Performed by stripping of the membrane

[x] Never to include an artificial rupture of the membrane

For pain relief, I’d like to use:

[ ] Acupressure

[ ] Acupuncture

[x] Breathing techniques

[ ] Cold therapy

[ ] Demerol

[x] Distraction

[ ] Hot therapy

[ ] Hypnosis

[ ] Massage

[x] Meditation

[ ] Reflexology

[ ] Standard epidural

[ ] TENS

[ ] Walking epidural

[ ] Nothing

[x] Only what I request at the time

[ ] Whatever is suggested at the time

During delivery, I would like to:

[ ] Squat

[ ] Semi-reline

[ ] Lie on my side

[ ] Be on my hands and knees

[ ] Stand

[ ] Lean on my partner

[ ] Use people for leg support

[ ] Use foot pedals for support

[ ] Use a birth bar for support

[ ] Use a birthing stool

[x] Be in a birthing tub

[ ] Be in the shower

I will bring a:

[ ] Birthing stool

[ ] Birthing chair

[ ] Squatting bar

[ ] Birthing tub

As the baby is delivered, I would like to:

[ ] Push spontaneously

[ ] Push as directed

[x] Push as I feel urged to as long as the baby and I are not at risk

[ ] Use a mirror to see the baby crown

[x] Touch the head as it crowns

[ ] Let the epidural wear off while pushing

[ ] Have a full dose of epidural

[x] Avoid forceps usage

[x] Avoid vacuum extraction

(I do not permit either forceps or vaccum to be used)

[ ] Use whatever methods my doctor deems necessary

[x] Help catch the baby

[x] Let my partner catch the baby

[ ] Let my partner suction the baby

I would like an episiotomy:

[ ] Used only after perineal massage, warm compresses and positioning

[ ] Rather than risk a tear

[x] Not performed, even if it means risking a tear (I do not permit an episiotomy)

[ ] Performed only as a last resort

[ ] Performed as my doctor deems necessary

[ ] Performed with local anesthesia

[ ] Performed by pressure, without local anesthesia

[ ] Followed by local anesthesia for the repair

Immediately after delivery, I would like:

[ ] My partner to cut the umbilical cord

[x] The umbilical cord to be cut only after it stops pulsating

[ ] To bank the cord blood

[ ] To donate the cord blood

[ ] To deliver the placenta spontaneously and without assistance

[ ] To see the placenta before it is discarded

[ ] Not to be given Pitocin/oxytocin

[x] To preserve the placenta for encapsulation

If a C-section is necessary, I would like:

[x] A second opinion

[x] To make sure all other options have been exhausted

[x] To stay conscious

[x] My partner to remain with me the entire time

[x] The screen lowered so I can watch baby come out

[x] My hands left free so I can touch the baby

[ ] The surgery explained as it happens

[x] An epidural for anesthesia

[x] My partner or I to hold the baby as soon as possible

[x] My partner to go with the baby to the nursery right away

[x] To breastfeed in the recovery room

I would like to hold baby:

[x] Immediately after delivery

[ ] After suctioning

[ ] After weighing

[ ] After being wiped clean and swaddled

[x] Before eye drops/ointment are given

I would like to breastfeed:

[x] As soon as possible after delivery

[ ] Before eye drops/ointment are given

[ ] Later

[ ] Never

I’d like my family members:

[x] To join me and baby immediately after delivery

[ ] To join me and baby in the room later

[ ] Only to see baby in the nursery

[ ] To have unlimited visiting after birth

I’d like baby’s medical exam and procedures:

[x] Given in my presence

[x] Given only after we’ve bonded

[ ] Given in my partner’s presence

[x] To include a heel stick for screening tests beyond the PKU

[x] To include a hearing screening test

[x] To include a hepatitis B vaccine

Please don’t give baby:

[ ] Vitamin K

[] Antibiotic eye treatment

[x] Sugar water

[x] Formula

[x] A pacifier

I’d like baby’s first bath given:

[ ] In my presence

[ ] In my partner’s presence

[x] By me

[ ] By my partner

I’d like to feed baby:

[x] Only with breastmilk

[ ] Only with formula

[ ] On demand

[ ] On schedule

[ ] With the help of a lactation specialist

I’d like baby to stay in my room:

[x] All the time

[ ] During the day

[ ] Only when I’m awake

[ ] Only for feeding

[ ] Only when I request

I’d like my partner:

[x] To have unlimited visiting

[x] To sleep in my room

If we have a boy, circumcision should:

[ ] Be performed

[x] Not be performed

[ ] Be performed later

[ ] Be performed with anesthesia

[ ] Be performed in the presence of me AND/OR my partner

As needed post-delivery, please give me:

[ ] Extra-strength acetaminophen

[ ] Percoset

[ ] Stool softener

[ ] Laxative

After birth, I’d like to stay in the hospital:

[ ] As long as possible

[ ] As briefly as possible

[x] As long as needed to properly monitor baby and I

If baby is not well, I’d like:

[x] My partner and I to accompany baby to the NICU or another facility

[x] To breastfeed or provide pumped breastmilk

[x] To hold him or her whenever possible

These are just the basics. If anything happens and I have to have a planned c-section I will readjust the birth plan to be geared around that outcome but for now I will continue to plan for a water birth at the birth center. If you're working on your birth plan my advice would be to consider everything in detail. Anything can happen and we must prepare ourselves for that. 

Wow, this week has been a lot to process and very stressful. I haven't slept in days. My mind has ran constantly. Between the baby situation and being extremely annoyed that we haven't closed on our farm yet, it's just been rough. Momma needs a drink ha. 

Pregnancy Update: Weeks 13 & 14

Week 13:

-Continued nausea/vomiting 

-Continued fatigue

-Continued acid reflux 

-Braxton Hicks

-No break outs

-No weight gain

-14 lbs total of weight loss since becoming pregnant

-No cravings

-No dreams

Week 14:

-Continued nausea/vomiting 

-Continued fatigue 

-Continued acid reflux

-Continued Braxton Hicks 

-No breakouts

-Multiple remarks from people about how much I'm 'glowing'

-Craved Mexican food & BBQ

-No weight gain

-No weight loss

-14 lbs total of weight loss since becoming pregnant

-Dreams that baby is a girl. I have the same dream every single time. I am in a birthing pool, Brian is delivering the baby, the room is full of midwives and family, I push the baby out, Brian lays baby on to my chest, and at the same time we both tearfully realize/yell 'It's a girl!'. Of course this is my ideal birth plan so the way that it all happens in the dream as far as the birth goes makes sense to me but dreaming that it's a girl repeatedly does not. I truly thought that the baby was a boy until these dreams started. Everything in me was preparing for a boy. Not because I have a preference. I do not. I want both sexes equally. I do not favor one gender over the other at all. The fact that something in me is screaming that it's a girl definitely makes me question my original gut feeling that it's a boy. Every day my guess changes. Every day I'm on a different page. Some days I buy a bunch of girly stuff and some days it's all about cute baby boy stuff. We shall all see in June/July. 

-Last but certainly not least, the most exciting update of my pregnancy so far. Baby movement. This week I felt undeniable baby movement. That feeling never gets any less magical. 

Our check up ultrasound this week went well. Baby is growing 4 days ahead of schedule. Heartrate is 148 bpm. He/she was active and adorable. I go back in 3 weeks for another check up on the baby's growth and the position of my placenta. We also met with our midwife at the birth center, with my dietitian, and with my weight loss surgeon this week.

Things have gotten a little complex with our birth/pregnancy plans. I will post a separate blog later today or in the morning addressing this because it could be a lengthy post and I want to be able to easily find it when I'm looking back to see what has or hasn't changed. 

Circumcision: Our Choice NOT To Do It

I consider myself a relatively Crunchy Mom. Natural labors, breastfeeding, baby wearing, baby food making, baby lead weaning, cloth diapering, selective vaccination, placenta encapsulation, essential oils, organic foods, natural forms of medication when possible (lots of probiotics), would home school if my husband wasn't so against it, ect. Those are just some of the characteristics of my parenting style. These are things that weren't always important to me. I learned as I went what I felt was best for our family and what my true personal style of mommin is. In the last 2 years anti-circumcision has been added to that list. Unlike some anti-circ moms though I do not judge in the harsh way that they tend to. I do not judge because our son IS circumcised. It was something that my husband at the time was dead set on for personal reasons. Cosmetic reasons to be frank. However, our sons circ was a failed circ. Not near enough skin was removed and he has always looked uncircumcised. Our ped told us when he was 2 that we could put him through surgery to redo it. As in put him to sleep through a major COSMETIC surgery. My husband and I both immediately said, 'No way!'. We would absolutely NOT be doing that. That's all it took for us to realize what we had already put him through and we knew that we'd never do it again. Upon making that choice I started to look into what I had avoided for years. The ugly truth about circumcision. I've never been so appalled with myself in my life. My husband felt the same way. I personally feel that it was barbaric of us to do such a thing to our baby. If you are on the fence about the best choice for your family here are a few facts and myths about circumcision. Also I will include a video link of the actual process. 

THE FACTS BEHIND CIRCUMCISION:

Newborn male circumcision is the most common surgical procedure performed in the U.S. It's a common misconception that there are tangible health benefits to male circumcision, but the truth is no medical society in the world recommends it. This invasive procedure carries serious health risks, including infection, hemorrhage, surgical mishap, and death, as well many ethical considerations.

Myth – Circumcising baby boys is a safe and harmless procedure.
Fact – Surgically removing part of a baby boy's penis causes pain, creates immediate health risks and can lead to serious complications. Risks include infection, hemorrhage, scarring, difficulty urinating, loss of part or all of the penis, and even death. Circumcision complications can and do occur in even the best clinical settings.

Myth – Circumcision is just a little snip.
Fact – Surgical removal of the foreskin involves immobilizing the baby by strapping him face-up onto a molded plastic board. In one common method, the doctor then inserts a metal instrument under the foreskin to forcibly separate it from the glans, slits the foreskin, and inserts a circumcision device. The foreskin is crushed and then cut off. The amount of skin removed in a typical infant circumcision is the equivalent of 15 square inches in an adult male.

Myth – Circumcision is routinely recommended and endorsed by doctors and other health professionals.
Fact – No professional medical association in the United States or anywhere else in the world recommends routine circumcision as medically necessary. In fact, leaving boys intact is becoming the norm in the U.S., as parents realize the risks and harms of circumcision.

Myth – The baby does not feel any pain during circumcision.
Fact – Circumcision is painful. Babies are sensitive to pain, just like older children and adults. The analgesics used for circumcision only decrease pain; they do not eliminate it. Further, the open wound left by the removal of the foreskin will continue to cause the baby pain and discomfort for the 7-10 days it takes to heal.

Myth – If I don't circumcise my son, he will be ridiculed.
Fact – Times have changed and so has people's understanding of circumcision. Today, although the popularity of circumcision varies across geographical areas, nearly half of all baby boys born in the U.S. will leave the hospital intact. Most medically advanced nations do not practice child circumcision. Three quarters of the world's men are intact.

Myth – A boy should be circumcised to look like his father.
Fact – Children differ from their parents in many ways, including eye and hair color, body type, and (of course) size and sexual development. If a child asks why his penis looks different from that of his circumcised father (or brother), parents can say, "Daddy (or brother) had a part of his penis removed when he was a baby; now we know it’s not necessary and we decided not to let anyone do that to you."

Myth – Routine circumcision of baby boys cannot be compared to Female Genital Mutilation.
Fact – Rationales offered in cultures that promote female genital cutting – hygiene, disease prevention, improved appearance of the genitalia, and social acceptance – are similar to those offered in cultures that promote male circumcision. Whatever the rationale, forced removal of healthy genital tissue from any child – male or female – is unethical. Boys have the same right as girls to an intact body, and to be spared this inhumane, unnecessary surgery.

Myth – To oppose male circumcision is religious and cultural bigotry.
Fact – Many who oppose the permanent alteration of children's genitals do so because they believe in universal human rights. All children – regardless of their ethnicity or culture – have the right to be protected from bodily harm.

Myth – Circumcising newborn baby boys produces health benefits later in life.
Fact – There is NO link between circumcision and better health. In fact, cutting a baby boy's genitals creates immediate health risks. The foreskin is actually an important and functional body part, protecting the head of the penis from injury and providing moisture and lubrication. Circumcision also diminishes sexual pleasure later in life.

Myth – Male circumcision helps prevent HIV.
Fact – Claims that circumcision prevents HIV have repeatedly been proven to be exaggerated or false. Only abstinence or safe sex, including the use of condoms, can prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS.

Hygiene? Like most things it's all about how you take care of it. There is no difference in hygiene or infection issues if you have proper hygiene period. In fact, uncircumcised penis are protected by the foreskin. That foreskin effectively keeps out bacteria and germs. With circumsised boys you have to retract their foreskin and clean around the head of their penis because when you circ a baby that baby's forskin is no longer fused to keep out the germs. It is open for stuff to get in/under. 

To be fair and not only be one sided I will state the only even remotely relevant pros to circumcision:

Penile Cancer and UTI: Uncircumsised boys are <1% more likely to experience these than circumcised boys. Less that 1%! Is that worth the endless risks to circumcision? I think not. 

Statistically SIDS and circumcision kill about the same number of one month old boys! One of which is 100% preventable.  

You will find studies that are totally contradicting and feed whichever "team" you're on but my advice is to further your research and consider the sources credibility of each study. I found all kinds of 'pros' to circ before Hudson was born. I found what I wanted to find. I never considered sources. You have to go into this decision with an open mind and really dig deep on credibility. You can always find what you want to find if you're biased. 

Video of the circ procedure:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UdVSVdNwTJQ

For us, it's an easy choice now that we are educated. One that I'm proud of and will not waver on despite what's popular. Our boys (if baby #4 is a boy) can decide for themselves if they want to have surgery when they are adults. It's their bodies, it should be their choice. 

As always with posts like these I want to state that I do not and will not judge anyone for disagreeing with me. That's the beauty of life. You have the right to disagree and truthfully I'm thankful that not everyone is the same in the world. That'd be awfully boring. I'm just trying to share my past mistakes to help someone make the best choice for them. Motherhood for me has been a lot of trial and error. It's hard to admit when you're wrong sometimes but I do my best to be humble enough and to do just that. 

Home Birth Update: Midwife Consultation

Disclaimer: I am not a midwife or health care professional. Most of these facts/opinions, however are what I've gathered through the research of credible professionals and credible studies. To form your own conclusion on this topic please do your own research. Also I'm not referring to medically necessary inductions in this post! Obviously as a women who was formerly diagnosed with preeclampsia at 32 weeks and had to have my daughter prematurely to save both our lives I'm a big believer in induction WHEN IT'S TRULY NEEDED. I'm referring to elective induction for the hell of it. Induction at 38-41 weeks just to get the baby out. Surprisingly a lot of doctors recommend induction for convenience purposes and moms agree to it because they are either tired of being pregnant or they simply don't know the facts. You can decline your doctors recommendation to be induced when you don't have a genuine medical reason to have the baby early electively. A baby is perfectly safe inside of the womb until 42 weeks gestation. After that your placenta does begin to deteriorate but prior to that in a normal pregnancy it's safer to wait it out and labor when the body/baby is ready. 

Now that I clarified that on to the update:

Yesterday Brian and I had our first consultation with a midwife about birthing at home. I have always been intrigued by home births but I thought, 'Oh I could never do that!'. Well after having my 3rd baby and realizing how big of a failure hospital births can be I knew that I would not birth in a hospital unless it was medically crucial to do so. Home birth was my first thought. I have had non medicated births. I have listened to my body and trusted it. I was the one who told the nurses that it was time to push with each baby. I lead my own births completely. I love the idea of birthing at home for many, many reasons. Brian wasn't sold on that idea though. He thought that we are too far from a hospital. We are a good 20 minutes from one but it's honestly not one that I'd prefer to birth at. The nearest good hospital is an hour away. I did share his concern with that but I also have had smooth natural births so it was not a big issue for me. His other issue was midwife qualifications and education. After our consultation he was officially on board with me. Ultimately though we have came to a decision about where we plan to birth and it's not what I expected. 

Here is the reasoning for what we've decided: 

Home birth can be a wonderful experience and very beneficial to both mother and baby because it decreases the risks of medical interventions that in return can lead to complications such a c section, dropped fetal heart rate from certain medications, a stalled labor due to epidurals, prolonged/stalled labor from induction, stress to the baby from being induced before your body or baby is ready, ect. The statistically proven list goes on and on. Labor without medical intervention is often the smoothest labor possible and home birthing greatly reduces the risk of any these interventions. Home birth is also a form of birthing that is lead by the mother. It's based around her doing what she wants to stay comfortable and trusting her body. Some women labor better on a birthing ball. Some find great relief in laboring in the water. Some like to eat while they labor. Some like to walk. Some like to sleep without being hooked up to IVs and monitors. Some want to be distracted by a house full of guests and their other children if they have any. Some want to turn off all of the lights and burn candles for a peaceful environment. Some want to blare music and dance their babies out. Everyone is different and the hospital completely restricts you of doing what feels the best to you. 

Now that we've discussed why someone would choose home birth let's move on to midwife qualifications and education!

Education involved: In order to become a labor and delivery nurse, you must graduate from an accredited registered nursing program, which may be two or four years long. Passing a state exam is the next part of the process to become licensed as a nurse. After becoming licensed, nurses may apply for work in the labor and delivery department. Some hospitals may require nurses have a few years of general nursing experience before working in L&D. But other facilities will train new grads.

It takes longer to become a midwife. Midwives also have to become registered nurses. They can also choose a two or four-year program and must become licensed. But after becoming licensed, there is additional training. Midwifery programs have different admission requirements. For example, some require nurses have a BSN degree while others may not. In general, midwifery programs take about two additional years to complete.

Level of responsibility: The level of responsibility for L&D nurses and midwives are different. Nurses in labor and delivery work under the direction of a doctor. They have an important role, but they are not alone. For example, an L&D nurse is not the person who makes the decision to use forceps or perform a C-section.

Midwives are usually used in place of a doctor during labor, which means they have the same responsibility as an obstetrician. Similar to a doctor, a midwife is the person who is responsible for making critical decisions, such as if emergency interventions are needed during delivery. They transfer you to a hospital should anything raise a red flag.

Some have the conception that you irresponsibly trust your baby and you own life with someone who isn't very qualified. That is far from the truth. Midwives are just as qualified as any labor and delivery nurse or OB. They just don't use the same medical methods in their practices unless they have to. In that case they transfer you to the hospital and treat you there. Typically they have rights at neighboring facilities to continue to take care of you or they partner with the on staff OBs so that they can assist your birth regardless of what happens once you arrive at the medical center. 

Midwives are, unquestionably, equipped to handle emergencies for both mother and baby. They are certified in NRP which is the standard of training for healthcare professionals who care for newborns at the time of delivery - it is taught at local hospitals to their L&D staff, and also AHA BLS for Medical Professionals - also taught at local hospitals. They have extensive training (generally from the same books as hospital providers) on how to resolve all childbirth emergencies, as this is basically the most important job we hope we never have, and are constantly updating our skill set with the latest techniques via continuing education. They have all of the resuscitation equipment proven to be beneficial at OOH births  (they do not administer drugs during resuscitation, but frankly, many of the reasons you might need to administer drugs are direct results from other thing they don't do, like administer narcotics to the mother). They call the ambulance in case of an emergency where they would need to continue to provide care in-route, but most emergencies are handled completely in-house with no transport needed. Midwives ARE really awesome at promoting bonding and breastfeeding (uninterrupted skin to skin, physiological attachment, compassionate breastfeeding support, etc.) They can get erythromycin ointment, vitamin K injection, and hep B vaccine (or not). They also do the standard metabolic screening and file for birth certificates and social security cards. They refer out for hearing screenings, and those are often done in hospitals, audiologists offices, or the health dept.

All of this information is why I personally felt comfortable pursuing a home birth. I felt like it was perfect for us and our situation. 

However, after further research there was one thing that kept coming up in studies that ultimately made our choice for us. 

There is a undeniable increase in infant death risks after a home birth vs a hospital/birth center birth. With home birth a baby is 3-4 times more likely to pass away 0-4 weeks post partum. This is because there isn't the typical monitoring of the baby after birth. Of course they do a general exam to check all of the basics but there are many undetectable issues that can be there and be overlooked. I can not ignore these facts. I tried to discredit them but they are everywhere. Multiple credible studies have proven this to be true. 

I'm not going to lie letting go of this dream when I had finally got my husband on board was a let down for me but I have never questioned my choice. I can not take that risk because I want a certain type of birth even if I truly believe it's best for the baby and I in a situation where we are both perfectly healthy. 

That being said we have decided to stick with our original plan. We will be birthing at a birth center in Rogers, AR under the care of a midwife who is partnered with a wonderful hospital like a block away from the birthing center. She was rights to treat her patients at the hospital but also works with the OB staff there if a c section was needed. We will get that over all feel and lowered risk of intervention that a home birth has but with the perks of having a medical facility next door should an emergency arise. We will also be able to transfer to the hospital after our natural water birth at the birth center to have 24-48 hour monitoring of the baby and I just to be safe. It's truly the best of both worlds. The drive won't be as convenient but it'll be worth it. If home births has the option of hospital transfer for monitoring we would most definitely be birthing at home. I've yet to find a midwife who offers that though. 

I want to add that I am not bashing ANY type of birth. I am not bashing anyone's  choice in how they want to have their babies or how the did have their babies. We all do what we think is best for us personally. I think that induction and other interventions are greatly abused and come at an increased risk of complications that can lead to fetal distress and cesarean section. That is medically and statistically proven to be true. However, women do it every day and it all works out wonderfully. 

Hopefully this post educated someone who was curious about different birthing options. My advice if you want to know more about birthing outside of a hospital or even birthing non medicated inside of one is to research, research, research. Go into it knowing your rights and knowing the facts. Call around and demand hospital policies on things like having to have an IV or being able to bring a birthing ball. Ask for the policies on any restrictions that you are given during labor. Often we just do what they tell us to do not knowing that we can refuse to do those things. 

More reasons why I personally want to avoid a hospital birth:

I was pressured so much into things during my hospital births. From scare tactics on how my baby could die if I didn't supplement when she was only 2 hours old to not being able to stand up during labor to relieve back pain. The nurses would double check my cervix every single time. Like literally 2 different nurses would check me back to back each time. A nurse told me to not worry about my blood pressure because it wasn't high. It was 168/108 and I was in preterm labor due to preeclampsia. The list could go on and on. 

All of that to say, know your rights as the mom and the patient. Do not let anyone scare you or boss you around! Your body, your birth.