Sharing my testimony for the first time ever

With spiritual growth ALWAYS comes change. Maybe it’s good. Maybe it’s hard. But none the less it does always involve change. If you follow my social media pages you know that I recently re dedicated my life to the Lord. (With that came a huge change in my followings. I unfollowed and blocked alot more people but I also had people unfollow me when the word ‘God’ started making it’s way into my day to day content. I am more than good with that. In fact, I think that it’s important to stay in alignment with situations and people that make you happy or want to be better.) 

Anyways, for the first time in my 31 years of life I genuinely gave my all to God. 

I was raised in church. Not only was I raised in church from infancy but my parents were youth pastors while I was in school. If the church doors were open, we were there. I was saved as a child and I knew what that meant. I wasn’t following those around me or forced into it. I made that choice for myself. However, as I became an adult I strayed. I started having kids and focusing on my family. I was busy. I was young. I was content with my sailor tongue and partying a few times a year. I was content with the occasional gossiping and drama. I was immature and always on the go. ‘I didn’t have time for church or to invest myself into God.’. 

I also didn’t always resonate with Christian beliefs so I spent some time confused where I fall into Christianity. I believe in basic human equality rights to marry who you love (within obvious reason) or to not be seen differently because of the color of your skin. I believe in trans rights to join the army and would proudly thank them for their service just as we all do for heterosexuals. I believe in medical freedom and don’t support mandatory vaccines. I support legalizing marijuana within certain limitations. I don’t expect abstinence until marriage from my children although I pray every day that they do wait. The emotional and physical toll that having sex too young brings isn’t something that I want my kids to go through. I will have an open relationship with them in regards to sex when that time comes and they are old enough for those talks though. I support things and parent in ways that don’t always align with God’s word and that could make me a ‘bad witness’. 

But here’s the thing friends, Christians aren’t perfect. That’s a label that society smacks on them to use as an insult when applicable. Christians can be your friends advocating God’s spoken word to love our neighbors by still supporting those who live differently than we do. I can love each and everyone of you without condemnation. As they say, I’ll leave the judging to Jesus.

 I blamed the fact that I’m not a ‘perfect Christian’ for why I wasn’t an all in Christian. 

The truth is, It was way easy to stay a lazy Christian.

A Christian that had secured my spot in heaven so that was good enough. I prayed. I believed in God. I read the Bible. But I also left God out of conversations that I knew He was tugging on me to include Him in. I used not wanting to be a bad witness as an excuse because I didn’t want to commit but also I really did feel that way. I wasn’t a flawless witness. I was one that doesn’t fit that Bible thumping, anti LGBTQ mold. Despite the bad witness excuse there were other reasons that I lived comfortably in that ticket to heaven but no jewels on my crown kind of gig. 

Truth is, I was so lost. I didn’t know it at the time. I held it together and functioned like a responsible mom of multiples but on the inside I wasn’t all there. I couldn’t figure out why I felt so out of place in my own life and like something wasn’t right. In part it was reoccurring miscarriages that left a hole but this feeling started years before those losses. They just intensified it. I had every reason imaginable to be thrilled with my life. I knew that I was insanely blessed yet there were times when I felt unfulfilled. 

 

One day my husband and I were having a conversation and he said to me, “My family will be something that the devil runs from. We will be a threat to him. My family will be a witness for the Lord and all this loss will make sense!”. He was raw. Genuine. Full of tears and hope. It was the first time that he had said that to me. He’s been on his own spiritual journey with the Lord for about 2 years now. Reads his Bible every day. Praise and worship music is always on in his truck. Mentioning that we should get back into church full time. Praying over me out loud. Bringing God up as often as he could. His glow and heart has always been special but this change in him was by far the most beautiful thing that I’ve ever seen. I noticed it and felt drawn to it but still wasn’t ready.

I have seriously fallen more and more in love with him than I every imagined possible. There is nothing more attractive than a gentle, loving man of God. Let alone one that started the journey on his own and never made a big deal about it. Never told me until I asked. Showed me through his actions that something had happened inside of him. He never forced me. He never asked me to change with him. He never pushed it on to me. He prayed and he waited on me. He is a gift to our children and I. 

As for me, It was honestly through the miscarriages that I became closer to God. Loss after loss. Hitting rock bottom (I thought) just to hit it even harder the next time. During my 3rd loss in the last year I didn’t want to believe in God anymore. I was mad at Him. At my body. At my mind. At my grief. At my pain. I didn’t want to be attacked anymore and I didn’t know if I wanted to continue to be a Christian. It’s very hard to admit that. It’s uncomfortable and shameful. But it’s real. If it wasn’t for those losses I don’t think that I would have ever gotten to the point that I am. 

However, a week into that same loss something triggered in me. I made a commitment to not live in that dark sad place anymore. I didn’t focus on God one way or the other. I focused on me. On my heart. On my kids. On my husband. On my hobbies. On my job. On our new homestead.

 I focused on things that made me happy and I let go of what was holding me down. Friends. Feelings. Groups on Facebook. Toxic IG pages that brought out parts of me that didn’t make me a better person. I did me work. 

Looking back though, it wasn’t just me accomplishing those things. It was my family and most of all it was God. He was changing my heart before I even realized it. 

In that exact moment when Brian spoke his truth to me and said what God has laid on his heart, a rocket went off in my chest. I can’t explain it other than saying that I felt like a fierce warrior. I was done being a victim. I was ready to fight His battle against satan. I was done letting satan attack my family. I was done letting satan use me to bring down my husband because my struggles were also his struggles. I was done letting God, Brian, my children, and myself down. I was done being a half in Christian. In one second my whole world changed. I still feel that burning fire, heart racing, passion for Christ in my chest. I love Him. I love what He has given me. I trust Him and His plan for my future. I am His. I want to be someone that is not only a genuinely good witness but also someone who makes those that I love PROUD! 

I want to share His world and His story in my life. 

I want to scream His praises from the mountain top. 

I get it now. 

I want to show people that Christians aren’t a one size fits all so please don’t see us as such. I’m not a perfect Christian and I never will be but I genuinely love people and want to support them even if it’s not always an agreeable subject. 

I want to serve and stop holding back. 

I get what Brian has been feeling for the last 2 years. 

I get why so many Christians seem in your face. It isn’t to shame you or push you into believing what we believe. I’m still me. I still love and respect all of my non Christian friends. I still am an advocate for legal and moral equality around the board. I still slip up and cuss. You will find flaws if you look, I promise. 

But I get it. When your soul feels so changed and empowered and safe and peaceful YOU WANT TO SHARE THAT WITH YOUR FRIENDS. It isn’t a pushy thing or a judgement thing. It’s a happiness thing.

Valentine’s Day: Our edition ❤️

Share your story! Valentine’s Day is coming! ❤️ 

Here’s our story:

How’d you guys meet? We grew up like 200 yards apart (my now mother in law baby sit me back then) but Brian is almost 11 years old so I don’t remember him. We knew of each other as we got older but never talked. We officially met at his shop. I was there with mutual friends, going through the worst break up ever and just felt like killing time. Look at us now 😂

First date? Our first public date was the Tulsa State Fair. I was SO excited. Because of our age gap and me being a senior in high school, we kept our relationship a secret for a good minute. It felt so nice to go out with him and just be a couple together. Hand holding. Laughing. Not riding rides because he’s a party pooper. But still, best day of my life at that point. I will never forget it. 

How long have you been together? 13 years in September 

Married? 8/1/2009

Age difference? Almost 11 years  

Who was interested first? I thought that I was but found out later that he had seen me in town a few times and told his buddy, Juke way before meeting me that he was interested in me. 

Who is taller? Brian 

Who said I love you first? We were on a four wheeler ride and checking cattle on his land. I got this super heavy emotional feeling while I was hugging his back and at that same moment he stopped the ATV, turned around, and told me that he was falling in love with me 😭 It was about a month into our relationship and we both felt it at the same exact time. It was cheesy special. When you know, you know? 

Most impatient? Not Brian  

Most sensitive? Also not Brian 

Loudest? It used to be me but now Brian is losing his hearing from old age so he yells at everyone. It’s not cool. 

Most stubborn? We are both very stubborn. 

Falls asleep first? Brian. Always. 

Cooks better? We cook extremely different. My style is more eclectic and highly seasoned with a variety of all types of food. His style is strictly southern cooking. He takes the cake for southern food and all things grilled. He learned from his mama. 

Better morning person: Brian. He loves morning time. He’s gets up at 5 am, takes a shower, then drinks coffee while he watches the news..... FOR FUN 🤢

Better driver: Brian 

Most competitive: Both of us are really competitive.

Funniest: Idk. He’d say that I am. We are just different. Brian’s dry funny. Like, I’ll be rolling laughing at something that he said-did and he won’t even flinch. He doesn’t think that he’s funny. I’m obnoxious funny and laugh ALOT. 

Where do you eat out most as a couple? Home. Obviously 👧🏻👧🏻👦🏻👧🏻👶🏻

But really, when we go on dates it’s to Logan’s Roadhouse, Outback, or Red Lobster. 

Who is most Sociable? BRIAN! 

Who is the neat freak? 😬

Where was your first kiss? Standing on a back road. 

Who initiated your first kiss? Brian. 

How long did it take to get serious? Wellll we ‘met’ in September, fell in love in October, he purposed in January, and we got married in August (right after I graduated high school or it would have been sooner) so I’d say not long 😅

Then we had 10.5 kids and grew old together. 

Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong? Both of us are great about that. We always have been. 

Who wears the pants in relationship? His friends would say that I do but honest to God neither of us do. I respect Brian as much as I respect any other person on this planet. If he felt the need to be superior to me, I know that it would be a severe situation and that he would be right. His motives and heart are pure. He will always do what’s best for us. 

Spends the most? Me but in my defense I do all of the clothing shopping, bill paying, errand running, grocery shopping, supply shopping, ect for our family. 

Who drives when you are going somewhere? Brian. 

#ValentinesDayChallenge

Updated Get to Know Us

H E L L O  F R I E N D S ! It has been over 6 months since my last Q & A/Reintroduction and my oh my — A LOT has changed so I thought that I’d pop on to do another little get to know us. I get messages asking me random things fairly often. Like, I have 11 messages now asking me stuff. From where do we live to what kind of foundation do I wear, and everything in between. Rather than doing a Q & A style of post I’ve decided just to do an about us with answers to the most asked questions mixed into it. 

We are the Lane’s. My name is Callee and my husband is Brian. We have been together 13 years in September and have 5 children ages 1 to 9 years old. We live in Oklahoma and are cattle ranchers. We raise beef, mini donkeys, pork, poultry, goats for dairy, sheep, dogs, and grow all of our our produce but we also own horses. We travel as often as we can and are currently in the process of finding the perfect vacation home in the Estes Park area in Colorado that will not only benefit us seasonally but will also be another income for us. We kind of hustle a lot and have many jobs at any given time ha. We own a Feed Store and Tire Shop. We own Lane Shorthorns, a cattle ranch where we raise Shorthorn show cattle but also raise grass fed steers for harvest-sale. We sell both Shorthorn halter-lead broke show calves and Shorthorn beef post butcher so if you’re looking for ranch raised beef for sale locally, I’m your girl. We own Doodle Lane of NE OK and raise a variety of pets from Corgi’s to Doodles full time in a home/kennel free/ranch environment. We are landlords locally and soon to be landlords to the vacation home in the Rockies. My husband is also a lumberjack on the side and cuts wood to sell. I have an Etsy shop and make homemade soaps, bath bombs, lotions, creams, ect. We sell our own ranch raised eggs and produce at our Feed Store when we have plenty to spare which let’s face it, is often because we garden on a big scale. Most of our side hustles are incomes that go strictly to our children’s savings accounts for when they are older. Cars, insurance, college, ect is priceyyyyy so we bust our butts to set the kids up as best as we can and trust me, they earn it. They are as hands on as we are and always helping. It’s all hands on deck around the ranch 🙌🏻

Four years ago we sold a multimillion dollar Tyson’s contracted chicken farm and got ourselves out of debt so that we could begin to create a more self sufficient lifestyle. In October of 2020 we sold again to reach for even bigger goals for our family and to grow our businesses/ranch. We wanted to create something from the ground up again that better accommodates raising animals but also that better fits our growing family because our future 4 years ago has changed greatly since. With our new homestead we will eventually be totally self sufficient. Our water is sourced on site. We have always been avid gardeners and raise all of our own meats, poultry, produce, and on our way to only consuming our own dairy too. Cheese making is going to get the best of me so if anyone has any tips PLEASEEE SHARE THEM? We are saving to go fully solar powered on the entire ranch and should be able to do it within the next year or two. First, We plan to replace my SUV for an SUV with a lot more storage. I have a Nissan Armada and LOVE it so much but as a family of 7 plus, there’s simply not enough storage behind the 3rd row so we are getting a Yukon XL. We have to get something bigger first and foremost. Living debt free has been the biggest blessing but also the hardest thing that we’ve ever done. Countless extreme choices went into getting where we are and there was times of heavy fear and regret. We had to stop traveling as much and stop spending money mindlessly. We had to save, save, save and even now we are still saving to finish off 2 of the biggest goals which is a brand new car and the solar panels. Quitting the job that supports your family to take a risk on opening your own business was TERRIFYING. Truly sickening. But Brian knew that it was what God called him to do and I knew that Brian would never do anything that would hurt his family. Now four years later we have never been more secure and blessed. Blessings upon blessings. I feel like it isn’t real life at least 10 times a day. We are living the fruits of our sacrifices and thriving beyond anything that we ever could have imagined. Our life is chin deep in exciting, big things at every turn. Reaching our goals and fighting to achieve them when staying in our comfort zone would have been so much easier is a huge thing. Especially when you have 5 babies relying on you. But we did it and we are seeing God’s Grace everywhere. I will never feel adequate enough for the life that I have. I am so humble and thankful. There really aren’t words for how humble I am. We couldn’t have made it without our faith in each other and in the Lord. Without the hard choices and long journey to reach the end. It was all apart of the process, going all the way back to my husband building the chicken houses on his own before we had even met. The Tyson’s farm sale. The old ranch sale. It all had to happen to teach us what we know and to get us where we are. God was setting us up for today, now — the life that we are living and the security that we have in not owing anyone, anything. It is the most powerful and enlightening thing ever and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat to give my family the security of not having debt. 

Among our big new adventure of selling our place to rebuild another, we also are on the adventure of parenthood. Stages from pregnancy to toddlerhood to preschool to preteens, our life is just all around in a new season. My girls are the grade that I was when I started puberty which hit me big time hard when I realized that. They are changing daily and becoming so much older looking. They officially act and look like preteens. My oldest is the hardest working kid on the planet. She is endlessly motivated and witty. She is so mature that I often talk to her like I would my best friend because she’s just not a normal 9 year old. She reminds me of my cousin Taylor, a lawyer who graduated early, always is the best at what she does, and is determined beyond expression. My 2nd daughter is dramaaaaaa but oh she’s sweet. She is the kindest hearted spirit and so giving. She loves with all of her and is super gentle. She has the eye rolls and stomp offs down packed but if she thinks for a second that she hurt someone’s feelings she is mush. She’s a doll with a tude and very clever. She loves like I do and has my temper to match it. It’s hard to accept that my babies aren’t babies anymore. My oldest son is girl crazyyy and loves to do all things daddy related. He is his best friend and they are always doing stuff together. He is convinced that he will play football at OSU one day and no one can tell him other wise. He wants to play sports, be a rancher, and be a dad just like Brian. He’s a closet mamas boy though ha. My pre schooler started her first year of homeschooling this year and is so freaking smart. She honestly shocks us and has for a long time. She was one of those toddlers that talked and potty trained way early. Like, creepy early. I can’t remember a time when she didn’t have an adult vocabulary and couldn’t carry on full conversations with someone. She’s so independent (aside from STILL breastfeeding) and is changing daily. My 14 month old is beginning to walk and learns new things regularly. His little personality isn’t so little. He’s the happiest and silliest baby that I’ve ever met. I love watching his humor and goofiness. He was exactly what our hearts needed and the purest little soul. We plan to welcome more children into our family through both biology and embryo adoption within the next 4 years. Embryo adoption is where a couple adopts an embryo harvested and created through science in hopes of being implanted via IVF. Often times there are extra embryos left over that couples never use so they ultimately end up trashed. Little life’s just waiting to be lived that would otherwise be discarded. We will be adopting 2 of those embryos and implanting them both at once into me via IVF. They will not biologically be ours but should God’s plan be for them to be successful pregnancies, they will be as ours as any of the others are. We’ve also talked about foster to adopting older children later in life. We honestly couldn’t tell you how big our family will end up being but we do know that we WILL grow again. We saw the life that God has in store for us once we finally let go of our own fears and expectations. We let go of the voices saying that 4-5 kids was too many. We let go of the judgement and whispers. We are doing what we feel lead to do and that is to not have a cap on how many children that we will have. By the time that I’m 35 I can truly see us with 3 more kids. 

Brian and I grew up next door to one another. Literally. His mom baby sat my ‘brother’ and I. He is 11 years older so we didn’t talk much as kids but we re-met during one of the darkest times of my life. Our love story of fate and divine timing still makes me emotional when I think about it. 

I tell him that he saved me but he reminds me that we saved each other. He was also living a hard life and going down the wrong road. Besides my family and kids, Brian is my biggest blessing. Our marriage and relationship is everything. The companionship that he gives me and the partnership that we have is so incredibly unique. He treats me like I am a god. Just ask my mom how many times her and I have talked about the look that he gives me regularly. Like I created the world and am a queen. He is the most amazing man, husband, and father. We live such a cozy, beautiful life together. It’s nothing fancy. Nothing big. Nothing extravagant. It’s as simple as family and the farm in small town USA but it’s a literal dream come true. 

On top of building a ranch, growing a family, raising animals, homeschooling, ranching, running businesses, and just basic everyday life I also LOVE all things cosmetic. In fact, it was my profession prior to mom life. I love make up and hair styling. I love fashion and girly things. I’m a weird blend of ranch and glam. I can change a tire or the oil in my car. I can drive a standard and pull a calf. But I can also do a set of nails and color hair. I can spend hours braiding and shopping for fashionable kids clothes. 

I am naturally a planner. My husband calls me a professional list maker because I like everything to be neat and tiddy. I like structure and goals. I like writing. A lot. So much so that I’m sitting by 3 books that I’ve written right now. Blogging is an extension of that. It’s just hard to find the time to do it in our wild lives. 

I am big time obsessed with home building, designing, and decor. I would make it a living if there was a demand for it in our area. I recently started a page for all things home related and can’t wait to watch it grow once our home is done and the decorating can start. My style is all over the place in just about everything in life. From my music taste to my clothing taste to my home design taste, I’m all over the board. When we were creating this new home I had the hardest time picking between rustic mountain home get away, southwestern ranch, and traditional farmhouse so I decided to marry it ALL. I have no clue how it will all look in the end but I’m trusting my creative gut and running with it. Every single thing that we picked in our home was solely me going with my gut even if I’ve never seen the styles blended before. Self assurance and trust in it’s truest form so fingers crossed that I didn’t botch it hahahaha. 

If you’re following along you’re in for a crazy ride because life has neverrrrrrr been so busy for us but I can’t wait to watch where it’s headed. 

2021 Resolutions

Yes. You read that right! I made resolutions for myself this year despite my generally anti New Years Resolutions history. I typically don’t believe in making goals just because it’s a ‘new year new you’. I believe that we should have set goals literally every single day. If you want to make goals year round, I highly encourage it. Goals are huge in our family. We all always have some type of goal that we are reaching to achieve. Big and small. Goals make you better. Goals give you a job and a purpose. Goals motivate you. Goals are a large part of the way that we live our lives and raise our kids. However, in 2020 (like most of us) I let myself go. I didn’t leave my house much. Didn’t self care. I can count on both hands how many times I got dressed cute and fixed myself up. I had a hard year along with the rest of the nation. Between Covid, letting go of certain family members who are insanely toxic, miscarriages, pregnancy, moving, selling, buying, homeschooling, lock down, pick up only grocery shopping, ect I honest to God just never thought of taking care of myself. I rarely put make up on or fixed my hair other than my daily braid. I got my nails done maybe 3 times all year which is typically something I do once a month for myself. I focused on everyone but me. I told myself that I wouldn’t stay in the slump this year and I’ve not wavered from that. On Saturday I’m going out on my 2nd girls night with friends of the year (twice in one month, who even am I?). I have a nail appointment tomorrow. I’ve been taking my vitamins every single day. I never drink my calories. I’ve lost weight. I’ve made a point to fix my hair other than a braid and put tinted bb cream and lip balm on 3-4 times a week. I’ve bought myself a few new pairs of yoga pants which is big because I never by myself clothing. My mom or Brian gifted me 98% of what I own clothing wise. I had been wanting a pair of faux leather yoga pants for years and finally splurged on them along with some others. 

**Stay at home/work from home/home school mom tip — high waisted fashion yoga pants and an oversized off the shoulder flowy top with a pair of cute house shoes truly make me feel a million times better. I highly recommend comfy AND CUTE lazy clothes to make you feel like an actual human ha. That along with fixing your hair and tossing on some beauty products is a game changer for your confidence and it’s still super practical for your day to day routine. 

What I’ve mentioned already was just the start of my start to self care mission of 2021. Here are my goals in totality for the year: 

• Taking my vitamins daily. I take a mix of prenatals, hormone stability, multi vitamins, vitamin C additive, Folic Acid, and skin-hair-nail care vitamins. The brands that I use are Smarty Pants (gummy prenatals), Alaninu (Hormone Balance), Care Of (multi-skin hair & nails-vitamin C), and EU Natural (folic acid). 
• Drinking a gallon of water a day. I use an awesome water bottle for this that I found on a fellow bloggers IG Reel videos. Click HERE to order yours!
• Cut out pop or tea TOTALLY. Like, no cheats or exceptions. This was hard for me. I’m a sucker for caffeine. I even had headaches for the first 4 days after I stopped drinking it but I’m happy to report that it faded and now I feel so much better. I’ve also lost weight in part to cutting out drinking any calories. 
• Lose 30 lbs. I don’t hate my size. I am bigger than I’d like to be but my size doesn’t really bother me much. Probably because Brian is honestly is incredible at building me up. It’s a gift of his and a passion. Definitely his love language and I adore it. He has never made me feel inadequate or insecure. With that said, the general vibe of this years goals is self love and care which includes getting to a healthier weight so for that reason I have been more mindful of how much I’m eating and when I’m eating. I eat whatever I want but I use portion control and never eat after 7 pm or before 7 am. Water only. (A healthy pregnancy diet for any plus size mamas out there looking to still lose at a healthy rate during pregnancy. Yes. That’s possible ☺️. I did it with Eilee with the approval of my midwife and OB.)
• Getting my nails done once a month. Sometimes I use this time to get a kid free 2 hour break. Sometimes I use it as one on one time with my kids, alternating who gets to go. Either way, a fresh mani always is a nice pick me up. 
• Lash extensions! This is lower on my goal list because getting a sitter for a few hours twice a month is WAY OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE but it is a little goal that I’d like to make a priority. Lash extensions are life. Throw on some tinted moisturizer and your golden. 
• A new car! In the past if I had new car fever, I’d literally get online, find the car I want, work out the deal, and THEN tell my hubby we were getting a new car lol. All in one day. Super impulsive. We traded vehicles in twice a year on average. Stupid considering how much equity you lose the second that you leave the lot. This year I do want a 2021 Yukon XL (the new body style is gorgeous) BUT I’m waiting until I’ve saved up enough money from raising dogs and cattle to pay cash for the car. We set aside half of what we need in savings just for this vehicle but I want to cover the other half. I refuse to go into debt just to have a nicer and bigger vehicle when what I have now functions fine. It’s big time hard for me since I’m such an impulsive person but I know that it’ll be worth it because by Christmas I will be driving a nice brand new car and I won’t have a car payment for it. I am 110% set on a white Yukon XL with leather seats, a sun roof, DVD players, ect. It has to seat eight which is tricky because most that have leather, sun roofs, and DVD players don’t have a bench seat in the 2nd row. They have captains seats and we need that 8th seat. We will have to have the car ordered but I’m going to splurge on it because my long term goal is to stop trading stuff in until I’ve had it for atleast 5 years. 
• Being a calmer, less anxious person. Not many people know this but since I was a child I was clinically diagnosed with Anxiety, acute Depression, and OCD. I don’t do well to manage that and I never have. I’ve learned to live with it and that has made my life harder than it should be so this year I started treating my anxiety. I feel so much more peaceful and less nervous. If you struggle with stuff like that please find something that helps. Find what works for you and utilize it. It’s not always medication or therapy that you need although there is NO shame in that. Medication and even cannabis are here for a reason. It could be self care. It could be nature walks. Meditation. Crafting or being creative. Writing in a journal. Taking a bath. Going to bed early. For me, home interior is my therapy for the most part. Either redecorating our current home or planning the decor for our new home, I feel so relaxed when I’m designing a home space. It’s refreshing. Also cuddling puppies and kids helps me. Taking a step back from busy life and just sitting down to welcome a kid or a pet onto my lap. Regardless of what you need, please focus on your mental health and don’t be ashamed of that. 
• Self tan regularly. It sounds pathetic, I know but y’all don’t even know unless you know what a pick me up self tanning is. I use Loving Tan and 10/10 recommend it. Self tanning is a basic and inexpensive part of your routine that real deal makes a big difference on how your feel about yourself. 
• I want to be a softer mom. I’m so bold and straight forward. I’m very business and want things done perfect. OCD is the culprit for that, I think. It can come across like a drill Sargent and I don’t love that. I want to be a gentler mom and treating my anxiety will go hand in hand with me being a more relaxed mother. It has already helped a lot. 
• Finish our home by my 31st birthday (April 27th) so that we can have a birthday/house warming get together with the family that we see regularly. A celebration of all of the hard work and dream reaching that we did by selling our place and rebuilding. 
• Pray more. Worry less. Cliche as it sounds, it will probably be my hardest goal of the year. Clinical anxiety and worrying are my vises. I worry so so much. I worry to the point that I will literally throw up, get a migraine, have a panic attack, etc. I hate that and want to focus more of letting it go to God. 
• Vlog regularly. This has been a goal of mine since I got pregnant with my oldest, 10 years ago. I even have edited a few vlogs but let insecurities stop me from posting them. I’m serious though when I say that by the end of the year I will be posting vlogs two times a week. I’ve been accumulating content of our home build so that I can make a video for us to look back on. My plan is to start our vlogs once our home is done and have the extra space to actually function while making content. We have a office in the master that is being designed solely for business. Blogging. Editing. Vlogging. Homeschooling. In our Dog Stables there’s also an office space for Doodle Lane, Lane Shorthorns, and Eucha Feed Store documents and book keeping so we will actually have 2 offices. 
• Lastly, but probably most expected of all - one of our top goals for this year is to add a baby to our family.

   

No matter what your goals are or how many you have, I can’t express enough how important it is to set them. Write them down. Hold yourself accountable. Tell a friend so that they can hold you accountable. Don’t let it go for more more than 2 days at a time because after that you lose the habit that you formed and will get off track. Do it for yourself even when you don’t want to. Do it for your kids to lead them by example. Fight for what you want and don’t give up. It is hard but it will be so worth it. Goals are crucial to life, in my opinion and an important part of parenting. Teach your kids to always be goal reaching and achieving. Teach them to set healthy goals but with that teach them that it’s okay if you can’t quite get there or if you need a little longer. As long as they are fighting to better themselves, that’s an achievement in itself that speaks volumes to character and work ethic. 

A healthy marriage example for our children

As sappy as it may sound, I seriously just love that my children get to witness Brian and I’s relationship. It’s awkward to think that way but it’s so true. 

From the simple things like his dirty clothes making it to the laundry basket and little random gifts such as this in tow as he’s walking out of a store ‘just because’. To the big things like him having a jumbo sized family with me when he honestly probably didn’t plan on that future for himself before he met me and him loving me every single day without pause even when I’m at my absolute worst. I love him and I love our love. 

I love that my sons will grow up to see the gentle love of a husband for his wife. To see that men can share household responsibilities. To see that men can loudly and proudly be weak for their wives. To see that men are equal partners in parenthood and in life. To see that they can voluntarily change diapers and make dinner sometimes to help their wives. To see how hard men work to support their families. To see the sacrifices he humbly makes to put himself last. To see how he is relentless in his fight for the people that he loves. To see that love isn’t a weakness, it’s his greatest strength. To see Brian go to my parents more times than I can count to ask them for advice because his family means more to him that his pride. To see that men can love in a way that makes Hallmark movies look like child’s play. 

I love that my daughters will grow up to see that wives can change the oil and do the farm chores sometimes so that their husband’s don’t have to after a stressful day at work. To see that despite the biblical stance of submission, it’s not always necessary because good men don’t put their wives in a situation where one needs to be superior to the other. To see that wives cook, clean, do laundry, lay out clothes, keep items stocked, rub backs and feet, clean out farm trucks, ect not because it’s their gender role but because that is an act of respect and love for their spouse-kids. To see that there’s a time when certain choices are the husband’s choice. Not because he’s more important or feels entitled to such but because if he’s a worthy man he will absolutely make the right choice for his family and she can trust that. To see that little things like making sure the bed is made and the house is clean when he gets home so he can relax or climb into a cozy bed each day isn’t a service. It’s the least that you feel you can do for the man who loves you so intensely and wouldn’t say a single word about it if he came home to a wreck. To see that we can fight with respect and make up with compromise, even if we still don’t agree. To see that conflicts are to be worked through, not piled up upon. To see that even if you do make it to that lowest point (and we ALL DO) you can pick each other back up and love even more strongly from that day forward. To see that you can learn from it. Most importantly of all, you can learn. To see that saying ‘I was wrong! I’m sorry’ is important. To see that venerability is safe and important for authentic communication. To see the down sides of a marriage but most of all to see the eye rolling, get a room, you’re annoying affection that’s shown like clock work when Brian walks through that door each day. The respect and affection that reflects from both sides. 

After going on 13 years I could spout forever why I am so grateful for my marriage, not just for myself but for my babies. It is quite possibly the biggest gift that we can give them and I often let myself forget the power of that. The privilege of it. The joy of it. The honor of it. The reward of knowing that we are doing our best to set our children up for healthy relationships by being the best example that we possibly can be.

Kid’s Bedroom Designs — House Update

It’s been a minute since I did a house update so I thought that I’d stop in and document where we are at in our build. I also thought that I’d do an update on our children’s bedroom themes since they’ve requested a few changes. 

Our show barn is up besides the front of it. We did white metal but are doing the front of the barn in white board and batten to match the house. It will have stained shutters, stained barn doors, and a stained loft door above the barn door. 

The footing of our house before they did the plumbing and the show barn. 

The back of the barn. Part of this will be back yard and part of it will be corrals-livestock pens. 

The horse stall and corral side of the barn. Where my car is parked is the drive way for visual reference. 

This view is from our future back yard looking at the Doodle Lane office/whelping/grooming room. 

The rough plumbing is done and we will FINALLY be pouring the foundation this week. We will be framing by January 18th. We’ve gotten a lot of snow and rain recently which has made around our home super muddy.

Our lumber is ready. 

Our windows are all ordered. I was planning to do black because it’s modern and what I see most but for that same reason, we went with white. I don’t want to do what’s common in places that I can avoid it. Farmhouse is so popular right now. I knew that when I picked our home design but I’m doing everything that I can to make all of the little touches unique and custom so our house isn’t like your typical modern farmhouse. I don’t want basic at all despite my exterior design choice. I’m just a genuine sucker for classic farmhouses and always have been. I’m obsessed with the contrast of white and stained wood. I love the boxy look of a white farmhouse. I love old architecture. I am a OG farmhouse lover through and through. Just ask my mom and grandma how long I’ve pointed out old houses and went nuts over them. Since childhood!

The wire, electrical boxes, light boxes, breaker panels, etc for the house and barn are bought. We just need to get the can lights. 

The show cattle and horse barn is getting wired up tomorrow.

Our pipe entrance and corners are getting started this week too. 

We will start seeing constant progress once the framing starts. Our builder is seriously the bomb. He is as ready as we are to get this rolling so I have no doubts that anymore delays won’t be an issue with him. He’s a go getter 🙌🏻 

My next update will be huge change. 

We’ve made a lot of little random changes to our design plans and I’ll touch on those in a few separate posts but today I’m just going to talk about the kid’s bedroom designs.  

Charlee and Granger have rooms down stairs just off of the main living area. Hudson, Andlee, and Eilee have rooms upstairs along with a large flex room that will be our homeschool/playroom for now and a possible 6th bedroom later if desired. Decorating that space will be a priority after we are all settled in. 

Charlee picked a whimsical rustic wildflower theme. We are doing a green wall behind her bed. She picked Country Squire by Sherwin Williams. Her bed is a metallic gold metal headboard. Her bedding will be white and frilly/Lacey with rust, mauve, and mustard yellow throw pillows. Her floors will be knotty wood and she will have this cowhide rug on it. It has adorable metallic gold flakes in it. She picked the same wildflower decals that you see in the inspo picture. They are from Project Nursery and we just bought the half order since that’s what you see pictured and it looks great to us. I wanted to keep that wall somewhat flexible because of our next baby is a girl she will share a room with Charlee and have a gold metal crib on the same wall as Char’s bed. Her other walls will be light beige with stained wood trim. Her light fixture is the one pictured and is beaded. Her wall decor will be a blend of macrame wall hangings-flower pot holders and wildflower pictures from Hobby Lobby.  Her name will be above her bed in wooden calligraphy letters, painted metallic gold. Her room will also be a nursery for Pariee someday if we have another girl. We will buy a gold metal crib from Target to match the room theme and do Pariee’s name in gold wooden calligraphy letters like Charlee’s. 

Granger’s bedroom is a rustic farm theme. He will have an hunter green ship lap wall behind his bed with a matching green dresser-changing table. His other walls will be light beige and his trim will be stained. His floors will be knotty wood and he will have a cowhide rug on it that has his name on it. His decor will be a blend of metal and wood accents with animal portraits. His crib is white and his sheet will be green and ivory gingham like in the inspo picture. His name will be done in wooden or tin letters above it. We are having a picture of one of our show cows blown up and printed off in black and white from Smallwood Home to recreate this popular Target highlander picture for above his changing table-dresser. Granger’s room will also be Roma’s nursery if we have another boy. We are doing natural wood cribs that convert into toddler beds. I will also do Roan’s name above his crib to match Granger’s. 

Andlee and Eilee’s room is a chic horses theme. Behind their beds there will be a white shiplap wall and they will have a blush barn door on their closet. Their other walls will be light beige with stained trim. Their dresser, night stand, and bed frames are white. They will have stained floating shelves for toy horse storage on the walls with rustic floral and horse paintings as decor. Above their beds on the ship lap I’m either doing their names in a flexible rope looking material, using a projector with a calligraphy font or I’m doing a rope wreath with flowers that has the first letter of their names in the middle of each wreath. Similar to what’s in the 2nd picture but with a wood ‘A’-‘E’ in blush. Their bedding will be colorful with cow print, navy, mustard yellow, teal, and pink accents. They are picking out the fabric on their own so it’ll be totally customized to them. 

Hudson’s room will be a vintage western/rodeo theme. He will have a stained tongue and groove wall behind his bed. The other walls will be light beige with stained trim. His headboard and dresser are also stained. His exact bedding is in the 2nd collage. We will do European mount deer skulls and vintage western paintings on the wall. My great aunt from The Pacific Northwest sent him this incredible set of homemade vintage pictures when he was born and they will look so perfect back in this space. (Fun fact: his nursery before we moved into our last house was actually this same theme so I love that he went back to it on his own.) He will have a navy barn door on his closet. 

Roan or Pariee? — Family Planning

“Are you pregnant?” 

“When are you guys going to have another baby?” 

“Are you guys done having kids?”

“You have your hands full as it is. You should stop now?”

These are statements that we hear at least twice a week. Over 12 1/2 years of marriage those questions have became completely normal. A part of our ‘everyday’ life when we are not publicly pregnant. As a couple who went through years of infertility, one failed adoption, fertility treatments to conceive two of our kids, and honest to God count less miscarriages-chemical pregnancies — it still stings when I’d get asked about it. Even if I’ve been secretly pregnant. Something about it unsettles me. When we were pregnant in June I bought our kids Christmas elves. Naturally, I had our unborn baby an elf made too. To see it on Christmas morning when I gave the kids theirs was hard for me. Almost six months has passed since we lost that baby and having had so many losses you do sadly become adapted to the pain. Not that it gets easier each time, if anything it was harder, but you become more and more numb to it faster. However you do still have days, reminders that bring you to your knees. Even years later. Each loss is different. Dates, personal items, pictures, etc remind you of that specific loss and you grief it. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had babies since it or are pregnant again. You still hurt for the life that you’ll never know. You flash back to the weight of the pain on your chest when you’re freshly mourning the news that your baby isn’t thriving and will never be born alive or held in your arms. And with so much loss you begin to expect it rather than to expect a positive outcome. 

We made the choice to not rush to announce our pregnancies anymore. We plan to wait until the birth to share the news or at the very least wait until we can’t physically hide it. Not because of the lesser risk of miscarriage the farther along that you are or because we wouldn’t be equally as freaking over the moon about baby #6, 7, 8, plus but because it’s just not anyone’s business unless we WANT it to be. I will share what I want to share and stop feeling pressured to share it all in a timely manner on a Pinterest perfect platter. I also have never waited to announce a pregnancy until birth before so we want to do something different. Something unique and fun. Everyone knows that we plan to expand so no shock there but I love the idea of doing a pregnancy/gender/birth reveal all at once because it’s a new experience for us and will shock people who don’t read my blog that we waited so we are going for it as long as we feel led to. 

 It will never be respectful to ask someone when they are going to have a baby. Don’t make yourself so comfortable prying into people’s personal lives in such a way. It may seem mindless and harmless but I promise it’s really not. Not just for people like me who have struggled but also for people in general. It’s not a normal thing to ask. It shouldn’t feel natural to bring up another couple’s family planning. Don’t be that person and please keep in mind that the girl that you keep nagging on about having a baby may be dying on the inside because she wants it so badly but can’t conceive or because she’s currently miscarrying in private. She might be pregnant and feels awkward lying about it so she spills in a pressured moment then deeply regrets it. She might not want kids but is afraid that she will sound weird by saying that she has zero desire to be a mom because society says that’s not normal. She might want a baby more than anything in the world but her husband changed his mind and now doesn’t want kids. She might be in the process of adopting because she doesn’t want to contribute to over population. She might want 10

kids but feels embarrassed to say that because people normalized stopping at 3 if you have both genders. She might be actively trying hard for baby #8 but can’t seem to get pregnant again. She might simply just think that it’s rude to be asked that. She might not care at all. Whatever the case may be you wouldn’t feel comfortable asking others what their income is so asking them what their family size plan is shouldn’t feel comfortable either. You shouldn’t feel like your input is what’s best for another family. You shouldn’t feel entitled to comment on whether or not a couple ‘needs’ another baby or should hurry up and start a family while they are young. 

As for me and my family, we try to normalize not asking people when they’re going to have kids or when they will be done having kids 👌🏻

A Reminder to Stay Positive

My Facebook time hop for the day (above picture) was another reminder of why I have spent 2 years changing my life in regards to who I allow in it. I spent so much time allowing negative people, social media pressure/inadequacy, drama that didn’t really matter, etc influence how my day would go. It’s easy to get sucked into a world of perfectly staged IG pages and YouTube accounts to make us feel like we aren’t good enough or like we are the odd man out in how wild our day to day lives are. It’s easy to not feel pretty enough or skinny enough. It’s easy to let people (even family) remain apart of our world’s who never deserved to be there In the first place. Who never earned that place in our lives. Sometimes it’s people who we didn’t know well. Sometimes it’s a sibling. Sometimes it’s a complete stranger that you just know online. Regardless of who it is we HAVE to have boundaries. People should EARN a place in our world. Be picky. Be purposeful. Be careful. I’ve blogged about this many times but it’s because I wish that I could personally hold each of your faces and say it right to you! LIVE LIFE WITH PURPOSE AND POSITIVITY. MAKE UPLIFTING CHOICES IN ALL THAT YOU DO. The most magical thing that I’ve ever done for myself was to let go of what I thought I needed to be and accept who I am. Accept that some people, no matter how badly you wish that it was different, don’t bring you joy or peace. They may seem like they are a lot like you. You may want to be friends because your lifestyles APPEAR to be the same. You may want them to love you back because they are your blood. But none of that matters if it’s one sided. All that you can do is let go of them and live for a positive life. Make meaningful choices. Be careful who you allow in your circle. Encourage people every chance that you get. Check on your friends. Compliment people on social media and in person. Tell that girl that she’s gorgeous or that you love her hair. Congratulate that couple on Facebook who just got engaged even if you’re sad that it’s not you. Cheer that family on who just bought a new home even if you want a new home but can’t afford it. Smile and wave at the girl who you know talks badly about you behind your back but don’t care because what she thinks of you isn’t any of your business. The world doesn’t always need your reaction to getting treated badly. It doesn’t need to know everything that you know or hear what you see. You don’t need to call out those who are a fake show of kindness on social media but an vile person in real life. I say that as someone who used to vent openly often about people who lied or did others wrong. Listen to me! When you learn to not dwell on those things, you will truly know joy and contentment. It took me 28 years to find that kind of strength within myself and I tell people every chance I get how important it is to live this way. Of course there are exceptions and will be times when something upsets you but I wish that I could share this type of happiness and wholesome living with everyone. This place comes with growth and learning. Let it come to you. Let go of anything that repeatedly hurts you or upsets you. Make choices that keep you in a positive place. I recently made my social media pages all private because as much as I enjoy the interaction with like minded people that I come into contact with daily through my IG, I needed a break from certain people reacting to everything that I posted and causing a fight over it. Even with having them blocked, they were reacting to my stuff within hours. It was causing drama for my parents and I that we don’t need and that’s not the life that I live. When I’m done, I’m done - DONE! I don’t give it another ounce of my stress. I remember it because that’s how I learn not to make the same mistakes over and over but it’s as good as dead to me once I let go. 

If you hear anything that I have to say please hear this, live your life to bring you nothing but joy. Choice by choice. Day by day. Let go of people even if it’s hard. Let go of being done wrong even if you didn’t deserve. Let go of the sadness or anger. Move on. Love your life. Love your tribe. Be happy for others. Fix their crowns. Compliment their acknowledgements. Don’t take things too seriously. Don’t obsess over someone who has never made you happy or encouraged you. Especially if your personal experience with them was always a negative one. Stop focusing on people that are spiritually dark and heavy. 

I feel so awkward when I say how happy I am but y’all know that I’m no stranger to sharing my feelings. Good and bad. I have proved that over and over again on this blog and on my personal pages. If I’m hurting, I say it. If I’m happy, I say it. If I’m mad, you’ve probably heard about it. I don’t just share my highs. I’ve shared many lows. I’ve also made it clear that the song that I’m singing is solely because I had to learn it for myself. The hard way. I didn’t just wake up this person. It’s not natural for me. It took work. Twenty-eight years of work! It took experience and doing it all wrong to see it. It changed me on the deepest of levels and I will never, ever be that person again. I will neverrrr spend that much time worried about things that do not matter.  I will never intentionally allow negative people back into my bubble. 

Because this life, my life has never been more genuinely fulfilling. Where I am at as a Christian, wife, mom, friend, daughter, teacher, student, homemaker, rancher, business owner, sibling to my little sister, aunt, and person is hands down my favorite chapter to date. The type of meaningful day to day interactions that I have and thoughts that I maintain are so humbling. We are living a dream even through heart aches and let downs. Delays on our home. Cutting ties with a family member. Miscarriage cracking my soul. We still found positivity through it. We are walking such an incredible and exciting journey. Those struggles are worth it. We are living the benefits now as we continue to maintain bonds with our amazing friends and family that we hand picked to be in our lives. As we finally start the building process of our ranch after almost a month of long turnaround delays. As we add to our family yet again in more ways than one. As we continue to grow in love with each other every single day as husband and wife. As we plan new trips and journeys together as both a family and as a couple including our dream vacation to Alaska in March to see the Northern Lights. Sometimes I can’t sleep at night because I let fear creep in. I get scared that my life feels so ‘perfect’ that something bad is bound to wreck it but I remind myself that we’ve seen bad! We’ve experienced bad! We know loss and pain. We have made huge sacrifices and hard scary choices. We have let go of people that we were friends or family with forever. We have had to seriously reevaluate our marriage and remind ourselves what matters and what doesn’t. We are living out our reward for all of the hard ships that it took to get here. We are reaping the fruits of our labors and soaking in the rewards of the countless hard choices that we’ve made over the last few years. Surround yourself with love and positivity and you will live with love and positivity 🤍

FREE Election Unit Study — Election Week

If you’re anything like us, you’re taking major advantage of it being election week (month in our case) and using it as a great learning opportunity to teach your children about all things political. We even have a mock election going at our community homeschool program. The kids made posters and have candidates to vote for. The whole shebang. So fun. We have used a lot of resources but here is one of my favorite free source. I hope that you guys enjoy it as much as we have and HAPPY VOTING. 

click here for your free election unit study

Homeless?

We originally planned to live in the living quarters of our new barn while our house is being built because the barn will only take 3 weeks to complete. However, due to literally every title company within an hour of here (including NE OK and NWA) being 4-6 weeks out on completing abstracts/closing on properties even for all cash buyers such as us we’ve unexpectedly had a delay in being able to start the barn/house build. It’s also rained heavily for a week in our area so that would have postponed foundation work anyways. Prior to this we had planned on staying with family for 2 weeks while the barn was being built because we expected to close on the new land the same day that we closed on the house and a separate parcel of land that we owned which would have given us a week to live in our old house then 2 weeks to kick it with family between living in our old house and moving into the barn. This delay in title company turn arounds has changed several things for us though. We have decided just to move into one of our rental properties while the new house is being built. The tenets are due to move out of it next week so it just makes the most sense to settle into there for the next 4-5 months since there’s a 3 week hold up on starting the barn. We are repainting the whole rent house and putting in all new flooring but that will only take a few days so we should be able to move into it within the next 10 days. I’m excited to decorate it for Christmas and to get all of my homey decor up. It’s a cute little house that Brian and his papa built totally themselves a few years ago so living there will be special. We are under contract to buy land from a long term family friend of my parent’s and my late papa (my papa worked cattle on the land that we are building on 😭😍) so we tossed around starting the barn before we close since we trust the seller that much but ultimately decided that we aren’t in a rush. I think that my husband was partial to living in the house that he built with his papa, to be honest which is precious and fine by me. I’m just along for the ride and enjoying this journey full heartedly. It’s been neat to have this time close to our parents while we stay with them. If I’ve learned anything in life it’s that time flies by and we aren’t promised tomorrow. Cherish those moments and opportunities with your loved ones. Make the best of it. 

I, of course can not waittttttt to start seeing our new ranch go up but I also promised myself to take everything minute by minute and to enjoy the process. Taking my time to make decisions on things, big and small. From where I want plumbing extras for things like pot fillers and dog wash areas to what light fixtures and hardware that I want to paint colors and window placements to secret pantry rooms and a storm shelter bunker in the closest. All of it will be overly thought out and considered. The little 3 week delay from when we originally should have been starting things isn’t ideal but it’s also given us new opportunities to over think things and to live in special places with the ones that we hold dearest. I can’t imagine a life without our families this near to us. Family is truly our everything. It’s our source of our greatest happinesses. Nothing touches it or beats it. If you don’t have this kind of undying love and closeness with your parents and grandparents, my heart hurts for you. And if your chose to throw it away when you have loved ones who would die in a second for you — you are a miserable human being. You will never, ever go wrong with being near your loving and genuine family. Fancy things, materialistic things, and even spouses-friendships will pass you by but a family that loves you is the greatest thing if all.  I can’t tell you how deeply we’ve considered moving to Colorado. I mean, no bull shit - real deal considered it. Justified to ourselves being ‘a plane ride away’ from our loved ones or having a never ending ‘family always welcome to vacation here policy’. But ultimately our hearts couldn’t do it. Not full time. Not weeks, hell even days, without being with them. Brian sees his parents every single day and has all of his life with the exception of when we are on holidays. I see my parents weekly at the very least. We couldn’t live without that consistent interaction but honestly, we wouldn’t WANT to. I wish that all of my family members realized the value of the lives that they are neglecting. Their loss, for sure. 

Moral of the story is simple, plans can go astray but it’s in your control to make the best of it and if you have the opportunity to stay close to important people, don’t be an idiot and throw that away. One day those people will be gone and the regret that you’ll feel could very well ruin your life! 

SOLD!

(It’s hard to see in the first picture below but behind those trees is our creek with a stunning rock wall. This is our back yard area and we are clearing out most of those trees so we can see the rock wall and water better from our back porch-windows.)

And just like that, SOLD! We have closed on both of our properties that we listed and are under contract to close on our new property asap. We are spending our last few days in our current home before moving in to our temp home and I won’t lie, with all good things ending there is a sense of sadness. I knew that the end would suck. I did my heavy grieving and accepting early on in this journey so for the last several weeks I’ve rarely been sad. However, as expected now that it’s over, there is some emotional vibes floating around as we close this chapter of our lives. All of the ‘lasts’ are always hard. We will miss parts of this place. (The steep driveway and long, rough dirt road NOT being among those misses Hahaha.) 

With that said, the excitement for the new chapter is heavily on our minds. We finalized the barn & house plans with both builders which was exciting to say the least. We scheduled the fence/entry way builder. We break ground on the homestead within the next 10 days and should be moved in to it sometime in March. We have already begun to purchase things for the new house such as must have fixtures and furniture pieces that I didn’t want to risk going out of stock. I have made a few house plan posts but things have changed several times since then. I find new ideas that I love and want to implement almost daily. The bones of the home have not changed. The floor plan is the same. The layout is the same. The over all decor design is the same. But several of the little details have changed. I am beyond pumped to say that Brian agreed to painting the house-barn white and doing cedar accents on both. 

I’m basic. I love that authentic 1800s-1900s farmhouse exterior. Two story, block houses with lots of windows, white siding, and big porches. I’m a sucker for old, classic architecture like this:

However, Brian wanted to go very woodsy and log. Literally the dude wanted stained wood walls inside, stained wood walls outside, stained wood ceiling panels, wood floors, stained wood cabinets, stained wood trim. Wood. Wood. Wood. Woody, wood, WOOD! To. Much. Wood. 

Don’t get me wrong, I do like wood accents for sure. I specifically love the contrast of a warm toned knotty looking wood against white ship lap or a light colored wall but I don’t like wood overload so we found a nice compromise. I wanted to paint our kitchen cabinets a distressed off white and my husband did not. I also wanted to paint the exterior white but he wanted wood or log looking siding. The compromise was one of us gets the kitchen and one of us gets the exterior. He wanted the kitchen more so I got the exterior and y’all, I. Am. Pumped. 

It’s going to be so clean cut and pretty but still have rustic flair. 

We are doing the barn and the house in white siding with vertical batting every 12 inches. It will have stained cedar shutters, trim, and beams. I’m doing canned lighting on the porch ceiling with goose neck black barn lights on both sides of the front door as well as beside the laundry room door. I’ve also thought about doing stained tongue and groove under the porch ceiling. The barn will have two windows on the front (one on each side of the door) with cedar shutters on each side and a cedar loft window above the front door. On the side of the barn that meets our back yard there is a 12’ by 40’ climate controlled dog whelping room/she shed. It will also have two windows on each side of the front door. We will do cedar flower boxes under each window rather than shutters. The back yard is going to be fenced in using pipe and cattle panels. We talked about doing black chain link but need the fence to double as a dog safe yard that cattle can’t break since our show cattle pen will meet the back yard. It will also meet the cattle run that gets cattle from certain paddocks on the back of the property to the pens at the front of the property. 

I hate the looks of an added side garage and for our specific home site doing a garage on the back of the home would not have worked at all so we opted out of doing one. We are doing the laundry room/mud room on the barn-entry side of the house though for obvious reasons. The laundry room meets the kitchen so it also made sense to move it to that side of the home for practicality of loading in groceries and babies. 

This is our floor plan but we are reversing it, making the formal dining another bedroom, extending the nook and laundry room wall back 6’ to make the kitchen, laundry room, and dining area bigger, and the front door will not be inset. There also won’t be a garage. We are doing the bonus game room as a homeschool/play room. The attic in the 3rd story has tons of space for storage as does the loft in the barn. That was a huge deal for me. Plenty of storage. 

This is exactly what the house will look like but all of the windows will be black and there will be cedar shutters on each side of them. 

The barn will look very similar to this but we aren’t doing sliding doors on the front. It will be a regular exterior door that matches the house doors because the entire barn has central heating and air so we needed a sealed door. 

We are painting all of the pipe black around the house and at the entry way. We talked about doing white but I wanted something different than we’ve had before and our windows in the house and barn will be black so I think it’ll all look nice together. 

Fence like this is the plan for our back yard. It’ll be roughly 1 + acre in size so I’m super pumped about having a big safe space for the pets and kids but most of all I will be able to have free range chickens in the front yard. I could cry ha. That was a major life goal for me but our dogs kill chickens badly so it wasn’t possible without a big fenced in yard. We will still pen them up at night for their own safety but the builder is making us little white coop that matches our house with a 12’ by 20’ run area. 

As for the inside, I won’t get into specific decor designs today but I will say that we are doing rough wood rafters and beams over tongue and groove, stained this warm tone. It will match the trim, cabinets, and flooring. Mismatching wood colors is a huge turn off for Brian and I. The walls will be very light beige/off white (with high gloss because, kids). I’m doing a huge island that seats 6, a farmhouse sink, a pot filler, rock back splash, and a 6 burner gas stove. I go back and forth on a copper sink and vent hood. I’m undecided on a barn door on the laundry room because I will lose some wall space for my Target highlander cow picture in the dining room if I do a sliding door but we will decide that once I can do exact measuring to see how it’ll look. I will for sure do barn doors on the master bath and closet though. We will get into those special touches and decor design in a later post. There’s sooo many little fun things that go into making a home your style and unique to you. I LOVE IT! So much so that this is our 3rd time doing it hahahaha. 

This is what the foyer, kitchen, dining, and master suite ceiling will look like

The living area ceiling inspo



We are doing the banister out of the same lumber that the rafters are made out of with black coated rebar similar to this. 

All around kitchen inspo but with a massive island and a pot filler over the stove. 

The living room and dining room layout of the exact house plans that we picked


Guys, it took more than anyone knows for us to take the massive leap of faith and sell our (my) dream home. It was hard. We spent a year disagreeing over it and even after we agreed to list the house, there were brief moments of insecurity and regret but we prayed hard together and trusted God. We knew that His will was all that mattered and that He would only allow this to fall into place if it was best for our family. Now that it’s here and we are on page one of the next chapter, I can say with all certainty that it was worth it already. It feels so right. It literally flew by and went smoother/faster than anyone of the title people and the realtors have seen. God. That’s God for you. Six weeks from start to finish. No bumps. No hold ups. Flawless. Right now, especially with Covid that’s unheard of. 

If you are wanting to make a huge change but comfortable where you are so you let those dreams go, don’t do it. Don’t let them go. Don’t be complacent. If your goals and dreams are in reach but the leap is scary so you don’t jump, JUMP! God’s got you!