As sappy as it may sound, I seriously just love that my children get to witness Brian and I’s relationship. It’s awkward to think that way but it’s so true.
From the simple things like his dirty clothes making it to the laundry basket and little random gifts such as this in tow as he’s walking out of a store ‘just because’. To the big things like him having a jumbo sized family with me when he honestly probably didn’t plan on that future for himself before he met me and him loving me every single day without pause even when I’m at my absolute worst. I love him and I love our love.
I love that my sons will grow up to see the gentle love of a husband for his wife. To see that men can share household responsibilities. To see that men can loudly and proudly be weak for their wives. To see that men are equal partners in parenthood and in life. To see that they can voluntarily change diapers and make dinner sometimes to help their wives. To see how hard men work to support their families. To see the sacrifices he humbly makes to put himself last. To see how he is relentless in his fight for the people that he loves. To see that love isn’t a weakness, it’s his greatest strength. To see Brian go to my parents more times than I can count to ask them for advice because his family means more to him that his pride. To see that men can love in a way that makes Hallmark movies look like child’s play.
I love that my daughters will grow up to see that wives can change the oil and do the farm chores sometimes so that their husband’s don’t have to after a stressful day at work. To see that despite the biblical stance of submission, it’s not always necessary because good men don’t put their wives in a situation where one needs to be superior to the other. To see that wives cook, clean, do laundry, lay out clothes, keep items stocked, rub backs and feet, clean out farm trucks, ect not because it’s their gender role but because that is an act of respect and love for their spouse-kids. To see that there’s a time when certain choices are the husband’s choice. Not because he’s more important or feels entitled to such but because if he’s a worthy man he will absolutely make the right choice for his family and she can trust that. To see that little things like making sure the bed is made and the house is clean when he gets home so he can relax or climb into a cozy bed each day isn’t a service. It’s the least that you feel you can do for the man who loves you so intensely and wouldn’t say a single word about it if he came home to a wreck. To see that we can fight with respect and make up with compromise, even if we still don’t agree. To see that conflicts are to be worked through, not piled up upon. To see that even if you do make it to that lowest point (and we ALL DO) you can pick each other back up and love even more strongly from that day forward. To see that you can learn from it. Most importantly of all, you can learn. To see that saying ‘I was wrong! I’m sorry’ is important. To see that venerability is safe and important for authentic communication. To see the down sides of a marriage but most of all to see the eye rolling, get a room, you’re annoying affection that’s shown like clock work when Brian walks through that door each day. The respect and affection that reflects from both sides.
After going on 13 years I could spout forever why I am so grateful for my marriage, not just for myself but for my babies. It is quite possibly the biggest gift that we can give them and I often let myself forget the power of that. The privilege of it. The joy of it. The honor of it. The reward of knowing that we are doing our best to set our children up for healthy relationships by being the best example that we possibly can be.
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