The Pressures from Society

The pressure that society (specifically women/moms) puts on us is out of control. Every where you look you see some sort of shaming for not being a certain way. For not being an all natural mom. For not being a cool, modern mom. For not having a perfect marriage. For being too open about your marriage issues. For not breastfeeding. For breastfeeding past a year old. For not having a clean and clutter free house. For having a house that’s not kid friendly. For not staying home and raising your kids yourself. For staying at home and “doing nothing all day”. For not making homemade snacks for school. For having enough time on your hands to make homemade snacks. I could seriously go on and on and on. We are judged NO MATTER WHAT WE DO! Someone, somewhere has something to say about what we are doing and why it’s right or it’s wrong which leads people to shut down. It leads them to be afraid to speak their mind or feel secure in their choices as a parent/wife/person. I spent the first many years of my marriage “playing perfect”. I did not want others to see my struggle. I did not want others to know my issues. I did not want others to talk bad about me or judge me. I can not tell you how many times i cried to Brian about something that someone said about me. I hated the pressure that i felt to be a perfect wife and mom but I let it control me to some extent. I got married 2 months after i graduated high school. I was raised by a well off family who always “spoiled” me. I didn’t want to be a failure. I didn’t want to be that young dumb girl who went from daddy taking care of her to a wife with a bunch of kids who ended up divorced because she got into things too young. It was a pride thing for me to have a happy and perfect life. 

HA!

What a dumb ass. 

My life is wonderful. It is. Do not get me wrong. I am super blessed. I have healthy children, parents, a husband, grandparents, and siblings. I have an amazing family and friends. I have a normally happy marriage. I have a beautiful home. I have nice cars. I am loved and cherished. I have everything that a girl could want. But my life has been a reality check for me recently and it’s not the most comfortable thing to share but i do it. I do it because I’m not perfect and i don’t want people to ever think that I am or that i try to be. 

I cuss in front of my kids. I wait until we have basically no groceries to buy any because i hate loading groceries into the house and putting them away. Which ultimately makes no sense because waiting just makes the job harder yet i wait because i dread it so much and put it off as long as possible. I forget my kids snack days sometimes and have to put fucking clothes on AND A BRA to run treats up to the school last minute. I don’t vaccinate anymore because i deeply and passionately believe that’s the safest choice for my family despite people calling me every name imaginable for it. I think that you’re a shit person if you let your baby cry it out. I’m trying my best to convert our family to all natural/homeopathic things but I’m also a hypocrite because we still eat fast food on days that I’m lazy and don’t want to cook. I have atleast 2 loads of dirty clothes in my house right now and 2 more loads that need hung up. I say mean things to my husband when I’m mad and have very seriously wanted to give up on us multiple times. I dread going places alone with my kids because I’m always nervous that they’ll be monsters and make me look like i don’t know what I’m doing. Which i don’t. I am all for legalizing medical marijuana. I am a proud gun owner and believe in our right to own guns but think that civilians have no damn business owning assault rifles or weapons capable of unloading a mass amount of bullets in a short period of time. I’m horrible at math. Like, i finger count. It’s embarrassing. I wear ear buds in one ear when I’m in my car to tune my kids out sometimes. I co sleep with Eilee and my tit stays in her mouth basically all night. My back is always killing me because i can’t sleep well that way but it keeps her from crying so i do it. Every morning i wake up and tell myself that I’m going to work out that day. I never do. I’m not super straight. Im attracted to anyone who has a good heart despite their gender. I spank my kids then feel bad about it but I continue to do it because it’s the only thing that actually works. I’m probably one of the most flawed people that is out there and this is just a glimpse of me but I’m okay with that. I’m making it. I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m a better today than i was yesterday. It’s a process and it’s one that I’m not afraid to be open about. There is nothing authentic about perfection. Nothing. Zero. Notta. It doesn’t exist and if someone tries to be or look perfect, it’s coming from a place of insecurity. Trust me. I know. Don’t be afraid to be you. You’re going to be judged either way, most likely and there is serious empowerment in being real. 

Fairytale vs Reality

As most little girls do, growing up i constantly dreamt of my future husband and kids. I dreamt of my wedding day and how magical my life would be with my “Prince Charming”. I fantasized about what my future held and how things would go. I was going to marry this tall, handsome guy that was just like my dad. Sweet, kind, loving, passionate, funny, smart, hard working, and so much more. Someone who’d never abandon me and would fight to the death for me despite my flaws or mistakes. Someone that lived their life for me and our children. I imagined having a bunch of kids perfectly spaced apart in age that all looked just alike. They’d always be clean and well behaved. They’d never fight because that’s unacceptable. They had to be best friends because that’s all that they’ll have when their dad and I are gone. We’d have a farm with lots of pets. Life would be basically a Disney movie. We all know how part of that goes/went ha. My kids are always messy, look nothing alike, were born back to back then randomly 4 years later, fight constantly, and my marriage has seen many struggles. 

When i imagined my fairytale future what i didn’t imagine was how hard it’d be to stay married. I didn’t realize that marriage wasn’t always a feeling but often, a choice. I didn’t know that there would be stages when every day is hard for weeks on end. I didn’t know that it was possible to love someone so much but to also have hard feelings towards them. I didn’t know that things wouldn’t always be easy. I thought love was enough. I didn’t know that you’d sacrifice your own happiness to simply stay married in those hard moments. I didn’t know that being a mom meant losing parts of yourself and living life as if you aren’t really your own person anymore. I didn’t know that it wasn’t being a well put together “soccer mom” who was always on her a game. I didn’t know that you’d feel so overwhelmed with the chaos that you’d cry many tears out of pure frustration. I didn’t know that despite trying your best to teach your kids right from wrong, they’d still do things that they know is wrong. I didn’t know that people would watch you just to judge every single move that you make waiting for you to do something that they can gossip about. I didn’t know that people actually enjoy seeing others fail. I didn’t know that my fairytale was actually something that came with very ugly aspects. 

Listen guys, life is super hard. Marriage is super hard. Parenthood is super hard. I want to quit sometimes. I wonder if i got in over my head. I worry about my future and being everything that my family deserves. I regret many things but at the end of the day, anything worth having is worth fighting for. It’s worth the hard times. Worth the struggle. Worth the broken heart. Worth the stress. Worth the fear. Don’t let those ugly aspects of life overwhelm you to the point that you’re no longer living it because you’re so wrapped up in the hard times.

Amazon Prime

I’ve never been much of an Amazon person. The clothes run in weird sizes it seems and you never know what quality of products you’re going to get. Yes, reviews do help some but everyone’s opinion or definition of good varies so i don’t really find much comfort in reviews (unless there are a ton and they all echo the same thing). My biggest online shopping purchases are clothing for the kids or dog products so I’ve never really felt the need to invest in Amazon Prime for the benefits seeing as i don’t have a great experience with the clothing I’ve bought on there. However, i constantly see Amazon boxes on my mom’s porch or in her home. She’s addicted to say the least so i felt like i might as well give it a shot. Let’s hope it’s worth the $100. I found an adorable outfit for myself (for once) to wear for a Valentine’s Day date. It’s out of my typical comfort zone and i hope the sizing is right but we shall see. I also ordered several new books. I have a Kindle but I’m a paperback junkie. I appreciate books as they are. I’m weird, whatever. 

If you guys regularly use Amazon for certain things feel free to share your advice. Any tips or tricks would be great as well. What do you avoid getting on Amazon? What are your go to’s to get there? Why do you love it? Teach me your ways ha. 

Homemade Elderberry Syrup Recipe & Usage

Recently i decided to start selling my homemade elderberry syrup because I’ve constantly seen a high request for it. In fact, there’s such a high demand that i drove 3 hours to pick up my last batch of berries because they are sold out everywhere including online. People know that i make it so they are always reaching out to me to get some of mine. Elderberries have a ton of proven health benefits and have become popular during flu season. It is effective in treating many medical issues. 

https://draxe.com/elderberry/

The premade brands are expensive. It costs a minimum of $12 for 4 oz of over the counter elderberry syrup. I make 8 oz jars and sell them for less than what you can buy a 4 oz jar for. It’s super easy to make though so i want to share the recipe and process with you guys. 

-6 cups of water

-1/2 lb of dried elderberry

-2 tablespoons of ginger

-2-3 cinnamon sticks

-1 cup of honey 

1. Bring water, berries, ginger, and cinnamon to a boil
2. Reduce heat to a simmer and let it simmer for 45 minutes 
3. Strain the mix into a large bowl. Be sure to squeeze all of the juice out of the berries. I use a spatula to do this while the berries are in the strainer. 
4. Add honey and stir it. For babies dip out a few jars prior to adding the honey. Be sure to label them so you don’t mix it up. 
5. Fill your jars and enjoy. 

The syrup is good in the fridge for 3 months. The daily dose for children is 1 tsp a day or 1 tsp every waking hour while sick. For adults it’s 1 tbsp a day or 1 tbsp every waking hour while sick. 

***Like all things, elderberry isn’t for everyone. Please research it before trying it. There are some who it is not recommended for. There is also the possibility of being allergic to it.