'Dye your hair, show your tattoos, express yourself. Don't lose yourself in the transition of becoming mom. This includes taking time for yourself, painting your nails, buying new clothes, pampering yourself, taking bubble baths, wearing that cool jewelry, exercising... don't forget to take care of you first, so you'll be happy and refreshed when taking care of everyone else.' - Modern Day Moms
Yesterday I saw this post on Facebook that touched on something that I've ranted about and felt for years. It was about not giving up on your own personal style & personality just because someone now calls you 'mom'. I have always loved make-up, fashion, and hair. I can remember my dad having me pick his clothes out for him when I was like 10. Not kidding ha. It's the reason that my career of choice is cosmetology. I have always loved to be different. From crazy hair colors to wearing whatever I wanted, not what was in style to me having a lot of tattoos. That's just who I am. It's my personality. However, when I became a mom I felt like I couldn't be that way anymore. I felt like I needed to be 'plain'. I stopped doing unnatural hair colors. I lived in t-shirts and covered up my tattoos. I felt uncomfortable when I was in public with the kids and my tattoos showed. I felt like I was instantly judged as a certain type of mom/person. I struggled with this until recently. I also struggled with caring what other people thought of me as a mom. I just wanted to blend in. That's not me though. That's never been me. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a blunt, loud, bubbly person. I have a very bold and outgoing type of personality. I've diluted myself completely because I am a mom and that's not okay. That's not me being true to myself. How can I expect my kids to be confident with who they are if I'm not even openly being the real me? I can't. People are ALWAYS going to talk bad about you for one reason or another if they want to. They will always find something to say. Even if they don't really know you, they'll just assume or make things up. That's society these days. No one wants to see the best in people anymore. It's easier for them to judge you and chalk you off as something that you aren't than it is for them to make an effort to actually get to know you. I'm always up for making new friends. Some of my favorite people in life are people that I met on Facebook believe it or not. I've also became great friends with people that I didn't give a fair chance to at first because I listened to what I heard about them rather than actually getting to know them myself. You haven't fully lived until you've opened yourself up to new people and new relationships. You can't judge someone off of the way that they look or because they cuss. We can't be disappointed or hurt by a person that we don't even know. We can't give strangers that power over us. We have to stop labeling people and start accepting people. Accept that people fully covered in tattoos can be some of the best parents out there. Accept that every Sunday church going Christians can be some of the most vidictive people of all. Accept that people who cuss like a sailor can have some of the kindest hearts. Accept that a seemingly perfect, has it all together type of mom can be a person who doesn't even like being a mom. Accept people for who they authentically are on the inside! Not for what you see on the outside or on social media. Get to know people. Give them a chance. It's easy to judge someone when you aren't a happy person yourself so if you find that you are being judgemental, evaluate your life because how you treat others is a direct reflection of how you feel on the inside. Stop with the stereotypes. Stop with the judging. Stop with the assumptions of someone that you don't even know. Stop being the negativity in the world. Be a breath of fresh air. Give people a chance. Accept them for who they are on the inside and if you don't know anything about them on a personal relationship type of level then you haven't really given them a chance at all. Just because we are mom's now doesn't mean that we should give up on ourselves. We shouldn't have to worry about people seeing us as less of a mom because we lived true to who we are. Happy moms are the best moms and to be truly happy you have to be living authentically. I realize this more and more every day. I'm done worrying about people thinking less of me because of what I look like. My kind heart and amazing mothering skills are the same no matter what color my hair is. We were born to stand out not to die a copy 💗
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