We are PREGNANT!

First things first — we hope that you all had a wonderful Easter. We spent it with our families, as usual and are so thankful for God’s sacrifice for us so that we can have eternal salvation. He is good. Always. Even when times are bad, I’m reminded that he is still good. 

Now on to why you’re reading this post: we are having another baby!!!! 

So much has happened since we last spoke and you guys are hearing it before my social media accounts (You’re welcome!) but I’m thrilled to share this news with you. I’ll be sharing it with everyone else in a funny themed announcement this week on my birthday 🎉

Just over Two months ago I found out that my best friend and I were pregnant together (hints the last blog where I said that I’d be announcing some things in April). We were due the same day basically but sadly for me I had a chemical pregnancy. That baby was due on November 6th. I was so excited for that journey and that Baby. I made this cute fall themed announcement and everything. 

We had a few chemical pregnancies prior to that baby as well though. It’s been stressful and emotional. I’ve never hid that I wanted another baby but no one really knows the battle that it’s been to get there. We haven’t been preventing pregnancy since our youngest was born almost 2 years ago. I deeply debated waiting until after our first ultrasound (May 7th) to announce this pregnancy but ultimately I felt like being so hesitant to celebrate this life and living in fear again was having a negative effect on me and my pregnancy. I felt like maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong in the past. I’ve been going into pregnancy expecting it to fail. I don’t want to do that this time. I am full heartedly embracing everything about this baby. I also know from experience that miscarriage is hard no matter what. Period. Whether you had announced it or not, the pain is equally as devastating. For me that’s the case, anyways. With that being said, Baby Lane is due ON Christmas!

C H R I S T M A S! 

Literally!

December 25th!  

I will never get used to the magnitude of that.

If you’ve been around for awhile you know how huge this is for us — for me! My entire adult life I have openly dreamt of having a Christmas time baby (like, I have had a Pinterest board dedicated to my some day ‘Santa Baby’ since I joined it many years ago) and before we had Eilee we got pregnant with a December due baby. To some that may seem insignificant but for us it was so hard to come by. I never had regular cycles because of PCOS as well as uterine fibroids. We tried for over 2 years to get pregnant with Charlee and were doing fertility treatments when we did finally conceive her. Andlee and Hudson were both conceived a few weeks post partum from Char and Annie’s after birth cycles. With Eilee we tried for years and suffered loss along the way. Specifically planning a pregnancy in detail is nearly impossible when you only have 1-2 cycles a year and never know when you’re ovulating. The fact that I happened to have a cycle that year that also lined up with being due the week of Christmas was a freak deal in itself but the fact that I actually got pregnant that cycle was unbelievable. I was shocked to be pregnant. However, I was even more shocked when it ended in a loss. To have something work out the way that you’ve always wanted it to despite the odds just to have it taken away was nearly unbearable. I couldn’t imagine how God’s plan for me would be better than the perfect plan that I had for myself. It was though, of course. We became foster parents the following year to two incredible boys and eventually went on to have Eilee. Life was wonderful. All was redeemed. The book was closed.... 

Or so we thought!

Fast forward to now and my cycles have been more often. I’ve had 7 in the last 12 months. The last one started on March 20th and I was so surprised. That would make me due on Christmas. It felt way to good to be true and despite us trying hard that cycle, i knew in my gut that i wouldn’t get pregnant. I prepared myself for that. I was shocked when i took the test and it was positive. Shockedddddd. It was a obvious positive and my period wasn’t even due for 6 days. 

you can imagine how overwhelmingly honored we feel that this ended up being our fate. I truly felt like we couldn’t be more blessed! It’s undeniably a full circle moment that still amazes me and feels very unreal. The amount of joy and awe that we feel is out of this world. Just when I think that my life as a mother couldn’t be any more rewarding God shows up in a hard time and says, ‘SURPRISE! I wasn’t done yet!’. Through the losses and the struggles — it has always been so worth it when I look at my children. Words can not express how grateful we are. I seriously can’t believe that this is my life. I can not believe that my story is such a fulfilling fairytale. I am not worthy 😭

How I told Brian 💙💗 

He is so cute. Shortly after we found out he came home with a big bag of ice and said, “Look, I brought you a surprise!”. I craved ice obsessively with all of my other pregnancies and I’m not craving it yet of course but i still thought that it was so adorable. He brought ice cream too 🤷🏻‍♀️😍

Since finding out that we are expecting the tests have gotten darker which means that things are progressing as they should. 

I will be sharing the video of me finding out that I’m pregnant on my instagram next week so stay tuned for that. Warning: I’m bawling like a baby.