Why Parenthood 'Breaks' Are Important

Brian and I have always had a relationship where time alone or time separately with our friends is encouraged. Way before we became parents this was a must for us. We both think that you can't be your best you if you never take breaks from the duties of daily life or from your spouse. Yes, I said from your spouse. I'm talking healthy, safe, faithful, same sex, fun. He goes gigging with his guy friends weekly. During certain seasons he goes 2-3 times a week. Sometimes when it's pretty outside we do family gigging trips with our friends families but mostly it's just the guys who go. Some women think that's nuts to 'let' my husband do that so much but I truly have no problem at all with it. He deserves to enjoy his hobbies and my trust in him as a husband is unmeasurable. He supports our family and is an amazing man. I love that he gets to chill for those few hours a week and just do his own thing. Monthly I go get my nails done and sometimes I go out to eat, go shopping, or go to the movies with my girl friends. I have no shame in saying that I love my breaks. I love getting dressed up, listening to my kind of music loud in the car, having girl chats, and spending time with friends. They are all moms, married, and 4 of them are pregnant right now too. 

Not only do we do that with our friends separately but we also make it priority to spend alone time together. We do this every night of the week just about. We usually do it after the kids go to bed or after Brian gets home from fishing. We watch a movie or just talk most of the time but we love going out on dates too so we try to do that when we feel like it. It's like a restart for us and so refreshing. Our biggest deal is that one of us has the kids if the other one doesn't. Obviously on date nights our parents or my grandma watches the kids but we are gone 3 hours tops. I can't imagine what we'd be like if we never got those little breaks. I love my job and my life as a mom but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want to pull my hair out from time to time. I'd be bald if I didn't get any time away ha. I used to feel so guilty for ever wanting a break. I wanted a big family. I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I wanted kids back to back in age. I wanted the life that I have. Actually I didn't just want it, it was my dream come true. It's all that I've ever longed for in life from the time that I was a little girl. It just seemed hypocritical of me to want any breaks. I've learned with time though that that way of thinking was wrong. It was mom guilt! Guilt that I wasn't this perfect little stepford mom. A mom who shits rainbows and bakes cakes all day long with a big smile always on my face. You know, the stuff that ONLY happens in movies. The fact is that my kids are mini sized tornados, I pick up the same mess a hundred times a day, they beat eachother up constantly, it's a miracle that no one has ever broken any bones, I spend most of my days with a timer in my hand because I can count on atleast one kid being in time out at any given time, I have threatened to make my kids sleep outside with the dogs because they were acting like wild animals, I never go to the bathroom with the door shut because it's pointless (they'll just barge in anyways), I feel like I'm doing it all wrong atleast once a day, and my life is a legit circus. I'm undeniably crazy to some extent but I'd probably be certifiable if I didn't get any breaks. I'd be a momster for sure. 

All moms need space. If they say that they don't, they are either lying about it or they are lying about how involved they are as mothers. Needing a break every once in awhile doesn't make you a bad mom or less of a mom. It took me years to realize that. We deserve breaks. Our sanity deserves breaks. Our bodies deserve a break. Our souls deserve a break. We have to reset ourselves in order to be the best possible us.

That being said, I'd have no reason to be here if it wasn't for my babies. They are my heart and even on our hardest days, I am still living my dream come true. For every single bad minute there are endless minutes of moments that I'm so happy that my heart could explode. I'm far from perfect but my love for them is absolutely flawless.

 I just love myself too and sometimes I need time away to hear myself think hahaha.