Unfortunately I can't go back in time so I'm writing this in hopes that it will help some body else that is in school and struggling. I'm not your mom and I won't pretend to be. I'm not trying to control you or lecture you. I'm trying to help you as a person who has been there not too long ago. I'm going to shoot it to you straight because I'd have a lot less regrets in life if I had known then what I know now.
As a teenager life can be rough. You not only have to worry about dating and relationships but you also have to worry about self image and drama.
Girl drama:
Let's face it young girls can be the meanest creatures on this plant. They will drag every insecurity and skeleton that you have out of the closet and brutally use it against you. From 'you're fat, you're ugly, you're a skank' to 'you're mom is a druggy that never wanted you'. I've heard and seen it all. I've seen girls wear stacks of ridged rings and bash another girls face into concrete violently then laugh about it. I've watched other girls stand there cheering that girl on who could of easily killed the girl that she was beating. I've gotten into fights myself for simply trying to stand up for my friends. I've watched girls tear eachother down until they were completely broken on the inside and ready to end their own life. Girls are evil and it seems to only be getting worse with time. Here's the thing, those girls are mean because they are deeply and internally miserable. They are more broken than the ones that they are breaking. I know that it's hard and nearly impossible when you are in the moment but when someone intentionally hurts you, remember just how sad they must be on the inside to be treating another person that way. Find someone who loves you, genuinely loves you, and take refuge in them. I'm not talking about a boyfriend either! I'm talking about someone who has raised you or mentored you your entire life. Someone who has never failed you in your times of need. Turn to God. Turn to a parent. Turn to a grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, ect. You are ALL loved in the biggest way imaginable and you are worth everything to someone. Don't let what a miserable, petty person says or does make you question your worth! This will pass! You'll look back and be shocked how short your high school years are in comparison to life. You'll become a parent yourself or a successful adult and you'll wish that you could of told yourself all of these things. High school is a tiny fraction of your life and as big of a deal as it all seems in the moment, in the big picture it'll seem so ridiculous to of let other people control you or determine how you felt about yourself.
Relationships:
Ugh, relationships! A huge waste of your time and emotions. They will break you and they will keep you from so many experiences that you will of wished that you had experienced. Hands down my best year of high school was the year that I was single. I found myself. I found friends. I found fun. That year was amazing! It was way less stressful and I was able to just enjoy being a teen. You have your entire adult life to find your soulmate. Find yourself while you are in high school. Date yourself. Get to know yourself. Live for yourself and your family. The person that God has for you won't slip through your fingers even if he or she is a class mate. You will find them! You will end up with them! God's plan always succeeds. And if you are certain that you've found the one while you are in high school ask yourself how he treats you? How do they make you feel? Do they respect you? Do they respect your family and friends? Do they try to control you or manipulate you? Who God has for you won't make you question yourself. That person won't keep you from friends or family. They won't make you feel unwanted or insecure. They will love you fiercely and fight for what is best for you.
Grades:
Totally going to be 'that person' right now but it's something that is so, so true! Focus hard on your academics. You want to give yourself as many opportunities as possible and getting good grades is one sure way to do that.
Family:
This is my biggest regret of all. I regret how I treated my family. I can't even type this out with out getting tears in my eyes. No one loves you more than the people who have raised you/are raising you! No one hurts worse when you hurt than your family/guardians. Do not disrespect them! Do not treat them bad! Do not take them for granted because at the end of the day no one cares about you more than they do! No one will ever care about you more than they do. As a mom now my heart breaks to think that my kids might treat me the way that I treated my mom. I thought that she was my worst enemy back then because she wanted what was best for me and I wanted what I wanted. I didn't care enough about myself but she did! She was trying to protect me and I felt like she was trying to control me. Do not make that mistake! Do not forget how sacred your time with your loved ones is. I promise you that you will look back with a broken heart and drastically regret hurting your family. Hurting them because you are being a selfish brat and only care about what YOU want. Don't be that person. Don't have that regret. You don't know if you'll still have those people here tomorrow and that's the gut wrenching truth.
I hope that someone reads this and that it helps you. I hope that if anything it makes you think about the future and what will be important then. I hope it reminds you that happy people aren't mean so if someone is being mean to you, they are hurting. It's not personal! I hope that it reminds you that a boyfriend or girlfriend who makes you cry sad tears, is not the one for you. I hope that it reminds you how important grades are to set you up for endless possibilities in the future. Most of all I hope that it reminds you that you are worth everything to someone so cherish those people and value your self worth.
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