Recently upon some meditation and self reflection i was reminded of how powerful holding a grudge is. Even if it’s out of sight and mind, it still weighs on your soul. It still can be a burden of less obvious negativity. I don’t have issues with a lot of people. In fact, i can recall exactly who has crossed me quickly off of the top of my head. I’ve made peace with nearly everyone but there was still a handful on my ‘blocked list’. A few days ago i unblocked everyone on that list and reached out to those who i felt that i was too harsh on. I made peace with those girls and for the two that i didn’t feel like i owed anything, i let myself release any and all heaviness in regards to them. Some people come into your life solely to be a lesson — even if it’s a hard one or one that stresses you out. There’s a reason. I can truly say that something good that came out of each girl on that list. A good lesson or realization. A wake up call or a reminder to follow your gut about people rather than hoping for the best. Some people simply are toxic. Some may not even mean to be. They may see later in life that they agged stuff on and that once you both stepped away, you were better versions of yourself. You were fuel to each others fires. I have had ‘friends’ who brought out the bad in me. I have had enemies who consumed my bedtime thoughts. I’ve cried. I’ve been pissed. I’ve wanted karma to go after them without mercy. I’ve thought that there’s nothing good in them at all. Selfish empty fake shells. And on the other hand I’ve missed some of them or I’ve had doubts of what could have been. At the end of the day none of that matters. Letting go is what matters. Accepting your mistakes or forgiving those who aren’t sorry is what matters. Guys, don’t carry burdens that aren’t yours to carry anymore. Move on. Whether it’s apologizing for your part in things, forgiving them without an apology, or simply unblocking them and moving on from any record of there being issues, do what lightens your load. Do what makes you feel better. Be better — do better.
**Quick pupdate:
We have seven healthy babies. Five girls. Two boys. Currently all but two are claimed. We are keeping the curliest girl. She stole my heart right away. She was the last one born and Ginny needed a little help getting her out so she was the only puppy that i assisted in delivering. Before i knew the sex or what color shade she’d be dry, i knew that i was keeping her. Sex or color didn’t matter. That baby was mine. She is also the smallest. I’m so thankful for a smooth and fast birth. Mama is doing perfectly. Eating champ, healing well, and very content. Taking small breaks to go out and play when they sleep.
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