I hear remarks often that lead me to believe that a lot of people think that if you have “a bunch of kids” you think less of them as individuals or have less of a bond with them. It’s thoughtless comments that insinuate that’s the general state of mind but people who didn’t have more than 2 kids. We all probably know that large families hear the DUMBEST damn comments but society. But to let on that our kids mean less to us because we have many, is outrageous. Let’s cut right to the facts:
I prayed every single day, a hundred times a day sometimes to be a mom. I prayed that even as a young girl. I didn’t just pray to have one kid. I prayed to have many. I prayed to find a man who shared the desire to have many. A man who’d not only be a bomb dad and husband but also WANT a big family. That was my life goal. Motherhood. A “soccer mom” with like 6 kids. I carried each of my babies inside of my body. I bonded with them. I grew them. I talked to them. I painfully endured hard moments of pregnancy with them. I labored them. I birthed them. I wanted them. Each of them. For who they were not for who their siblings were. They are each why my heart beats. They are different in just about every way. They complete me for different reasons.
Charlee, she’s mature and patient. She listens damn near perfectly. She likes to ask questions and to learn new things. Everything in her life is about learning. She gets mad on the weekends when there’s no school. She is academically advanced — her teachers words, not mine. She’s introverted and shy. She bites her nails when she’s nervous and has this hilarious walk that i can’t put into words. You just have to see it to know what i mean. She loves grown up talk. The teacher told us that instead of playing with the other kids at school she talks to the adults. She asks them details about what they are doing and why they are doing it. She likes to know how everything works and she is constantly searching for ways to learn. She’s very funny but in a odd way. She can make a witty joke at the drop of the hat and it’s almost always so clever that instead of laughing, you think, ‘How does she even know that?!’. She can not tell a lie. Like, it’s impossible for her to look at someone in the eyes and lie. She is a clean freak. Borderline OCD about it and has been forever. She potty trained the week of her first birthday because she loathed diapers so much. Going potty on herself was nasty. She washes her hands a hundred times a day. She’s picky about her foods touching on a plate. She won’t wear clothes that fit her or rub her a certain way. She’s very precise. If I’m being real, she’s our “easy” child behavior wise.
Andlee, she’s loud and bold. She’s extroverted and will befriend anyone. She’s extremely goofy and makes the most hilarious facial expressions. So much so that we call them ‘Andlee faces’ because she’s so known for them. She doesn’t love school ha. She doesn’t like to learn book wise but that’s simply because her mind goes 90 to nothing and never stops long enough to focus well if it doesn’t keep her attention. She is a lot like me. She’s defiant and acts out when her feelings are hurt. She loves big girl shows. We stay up late every single night and watch our shows together. She is electronically very smart. She can figure out remotes and phones instantly. She learned to read by using the DVR. She likes mystery and romance. She likes being near me and loves playing dress up. She is a little mama to the core. She’s rough, don’t get me wrong. But her heart is golden. She thinks of other people over herself a lot. She will give anyone the last cookie or piece of candy. She can not stand to see someone’s feelings hurt and in return, hers get hurt easily. She’s insecure and that destroys my heart because her soul is as pure and kind as it comes. I pray that she sees herself how we see her.
Hudson, this kid will be the death of me. He was the baby AND the only boy for so long that it’s gotten to his head. He runs this place or so he thinks that he does. He is the most onry kid on the planet. He is extremely silly. We call him a sour patch kid because he will do something that he knows is bad then come snuggle on me and tell me that he loves me the next second. He knows that I’m a softy for him. He is into everything. Literally, everything. He’s always doing dangerous shit. Climbing things. Jumping on this. Wrestling things. Hitting things. He scares me to death and is borderline uncontrollable. He is as tough as they come. He lives in his own little world most of the time and doesn’t pay attention to anything going on around him. He just does his own thing. He’s in no hurry to learn. He likes his small group of friends but that’s it. He randomly squeals multiple times and day. It’s so weird that we actually worried he had something wrong. Nope. The doctor confirmed that he’s just wild and does it when he gets overly excited. I’m actually giggling as i type this because it’s so funny watching him do it. Annoying at times, but funny. It’s a high pitched girly scream and he kind of jumps when he does it then makes this dorky face. He’s a mess. He LOVES his dad. Brian is his hero and his admiration for B is so strong that i can get Hud to clean his room, eat his veggies, do his homework, ect simply by saying, “Daddy loves to clean. Daddy loves to eat veggies. Daddy loves homework.”. Hudson is blessed to have Brian to look up to. It’s truly a gift. Just like our girls are blessed to have Brian to see what love is really like and should be like. Eilee, she’s my baby and a massive mama’s girl. She follows me everywhere. She smiles when she hears my voice. She cries when i walk away from her or past her. I have to crawl by when Brian is holding her sometimes so that she doesn’t see me. I think that breastfeeding has intensified our bond in a big way. She relies on me not just to physically and emotionally care for her but also to nutritionally care for her. I love our nursing moments. Her little quirks and habits are the best. She will squeeze my boob to express milk faster. She rubs my face while she eats. She smiles through the suckle. She plays with my hair when it’s down. She rolls my skin between her fingers as she soothes herself to sleep. She grunts while she waits for my let down because she’s impatient. She will pick me over anything or anyone else in this world. It’s glorious because my bigs favor their dad. He’s the good time buddy. I’m the bossy mom who makes them listen. Eilee is very funny. She snorts and makes a scrunch face. She giggles at just about everything. She loves attention and to be cuddled. She smiles constantly and learns things so well. She copies things and is very curious. She eats up being the baby and i can tel you right now that we are in for it. She is rotten and she knows it. She has us all in her hands. She is an easy baby over all. She sleeps great. Eats great. Learns great. Cuddles great. Self entertains great. She’s got a temper though. Gosh, she’s got a temper. She wants what she wants, when she wants it. She thinks the world is ending if she doesn’t get a response on her demand. Rotten. That’s the only word for it. She makes us all laugh so much with her silly faces and precious giggles. Hopefully she will end up with a younger sibling soon to help calm down this whole diva baby girl thing. It won’t be so cute in 10 years from now.
As you can see, my babies are all very different. I have bonds with them for different reasons. They aren’t all the same or comparable. They are unique. My love for them is unique. Never less than the other but still one of a kind. Equally as special. Equally as important. Equally as personal. One child doesn’t replace another. They don’t mesh together because i have 4. In fact, they stand out more because there are four and i see just how unique children can each be. They aren’t all alike. What works for one, doesn’t work for the others. What one thrives at, the others don’t even care about. What one loves, the others hate. Charlee is my easy girl who is always eager to help me and to listen. Andlee is my movie buddy that i can binge watch tv with and dress up in fluffy dresses because she loves them so much. Hudson is my baby boy that i can play trucks with, go fishing with, and do all of the boy mom things with. Eilee is my booby buddy that i can rock to sleep and just simply chill with. I could go on for years about what they each mean to me and why but I’ll stop here and say this, don’t be ignorant. Despite how many children a person has their children are equally as important to them!
Post a Comment