As a first time mom we all say at some point ‘I’ll never.....’ We think we know exactly how to parent and have things all thought out. However, as a veteran mom I’ve found myself time and time again eating my own words. I have no shame in admitting my failures. I’m constantly fucking something up as a mom and a wife. Constantlyyyyyy. Moms who have it all together, kudos to you. And when I say kudos to you I mean kudos to you for being a liar. Most of us know that you’re full of shit because there’s no way to have life that together. There’s no way to know how to parent before you’re actually a parent. There’s no way that you’re doing it all right. No. Way. You’ve fucked it all up too at some point, you just don’t admit it.
The truth is that momming is trial and error. You learn as you go. You make mistakes. You have triumphs. You have Betty Crocker/Stepford house wife moments and you have ‘I’m going to go hide in a corner and cry’ moments. You parent the way that you feel is best and sometimes you realize that what you thought was best, wasn’t. I’m ALL for supporting other mothers in their journey through motherhood but I definitely throw some shady thoughts to moms who are ignorant and obviously full of shit. I can support you being pro circ when I’m not. I can support you being pro vax when I’m not. I can support you giving your kids Mt. Dew when I don’t. I can support you putting your newborn in his or hers nursery all alone when I don’t. I can support you formula feeding and not even trying to breast feed when I don’t agree with it. I could go on and on about what I can support even though I disagree with it but I don’t support fake. I don’t support the moms who act like they have life all together. I see it a lot especially on mom groups. I don’t support them not because I give a shit about their fake life but because some moms do. Some moms look at them and feel like a failure. Some moms strive to be like them but what they’re striving for isn’t realistic because it’s a huge pot of bull shit. Mom wars and self righteous mothers are every where. I find it comical at times to be honest. I eat my popcorn and watch the sanctimonious moms spout their fairytales but that’s because I know better than to get wrapped up in their games.
Fact: NONE OF US are doing it right to everyone.
Fact: There’s literally no way to be a perfect mom and wife.
Fact: Your house is going to be unavoidably messy most of the time. Yes, even those moms with cleaning schedules down to the minute.
Fact: You’re not going to always have dinner on the table when your husband gets home.
Fact: Your going to eat your ‘I’ll never do that’ words.
Fact: You are going to make friends with other moms and grow to realize that authenticity is sadly rare. Women can’t seem to kick their competitive mom nature and it’s a downer because finding more transparent mom friends shouldn’t be that hard.
Fact: You’ll have people who aren’t even parents telling you how you should parent.
Fact: You are going to forget to do things and go to bed in tears because life seems so overwhelming even with your schedules and lists.
Fact: Having 3, 4, 5, 6 plus kids doesn’t automatically make you some kind of super mom. Take it from me, there’s no such thing as a super mom. You do your job. You don’t deserve a trophy. You’re raising your kids like everyone else and it was your choice to have a big family. You might be busier than other moms. That’s inevitable when you birthed a football team but that doesn’t make you special. If anything, I mess up more with each kid because life gets even crazier. I have people stop me when I’m out in public alone with my kids just to make comments like, ‘What a women!’. I’ve said it before on here but that makes me cringe. I’m not any more women than a kid less women.
Fact: If you find yourself feeling less than adequate as a mother because of another mother you’re doing something wrong alright but it’s not what you think it is. You’re wrong doing is comparing yourself to someone else.
Don’t fall for the show, y’all. Don’t second guess your mothering skills because of another mom. Don’t get butt hurt if someone disagrees with your choices or the way that you do things. Who fucking cares?! You do you, boo and I’ll do me. We shouldn’t be afraid to ask for advice or to disagree with other moms. I can’t tell you how many times that other moms helped me. Especially my own mom. We shouldn’t be afraid to try and educate other mothers on something that we feel is best because someone is going to disagree and go cry about it. I’ve seriously had women delete and block me of social media for KINDLY and very passively sharing car seat safety with them. Gun shy, much? We live in a world of people dying to be offended and seeking out to take something the wrong way.
Take life with a grain of salt. Keep a strong back bone and an open mind. My life motto. I can promise you right now that if you disagree with my mothering choices, I’m not offended. I’ll be just fine.
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