They told me that because of the dangers of preeclampsia I'd have to have the baby early. I'm praying hard that it's not any time soon. I spent all day yesterday trying to get in with their partnering OB but her staff said that she'd need to review my updated case before she accepts me. That had me even more upset because in the past they acted like it'd be no problem to switch to her if I had to so I was expecting to see her yesterday. My previous OB is great but our experience the hospital staff, not so much. They do not have a NICU there and if I had known then what I know now I would of never trusted them with my premature babies. The hospital that partners with the birth center allows water births on a case by case basis but I have to be accepted by Dr. Scally in order to have that opportunity. It was mess to say the least. I'm so concerned with our baby's health. Of course giving up my ideal birth was sad but more than anything I hated the risks to my baby. It gives me a lot of anxiety and PTSD to be dealing with something so dangerous while pregnant.
However, I should have never doubted God's plan. You'd think that I'd have this engraved into me by now but I am human and I am weak. I spent the day yesterday sad and worried only to find out today that my prayers are being answered yet again. I met with our previous OB to discuss a treatment plan as I wait to be accepted by Dr. Scally. I was surprised to find out that my blood pressure is perfect today and there were no traces of abnormal proteins in my urine. The OB is having me to another 48 hour urine collection to be sent to the lab but in his opinion I'm not preeclamptic. To be safe I've decided to get a 3rd opinion as well so I called my midwives to talk about what I found out today and they said that they would meet with their high risk Doctor tomorrow to go over my case. That doctor will run tests on me and give her opinion but as of right now we officially have a new plan. Depending on my results I will either a) continue my care at the birth center under close observation and be transferred directly to the high risk Doctor if something gets worse or b) I will switch to the high risk Doctor and have the baby at Mercy in Rogers where there's still the option of having a water birth. Of course plans can still go crazy and change but for now it feels good to have things under control. Even if everything does come crashing down again I'm emotionally prepared for that because of this scare. It's been a blessing in ways for that reason. It's a relief that my blood pressure seems better and I'm praying hard for my baby's sake that I'm not preeclamptic and that it was just outside stressers that caused a temporary jump in blood pressure. Ive been monitoring it at home and it's been good there too.
My lesson from this, letting go of big dreams that you had can be hard. Letting go of a plan that you've had for years can be hard. Letting go of your low risk pregnancy with your much longed for rainbow baby is hard and scary. But there's always more than anyone could imagine for me to be thankful for. My kids are all FOUR healthy and growing. I'm still pregnant with our newest miracle. My family is all healthy and happy. I'm still getting my birth gender surprise. There's still a chance that I can have a water birth even if I deliver in the hospital. There's also still a chance that I can birth at the birth center. My birth with still be photographed and recorded for us to cherish forever. I have so much to be thrilled about and I am abundantly grateful. How or when this baby gets here doesn't matter as long as he or she is born safely and healthy.
My other lesson/reminder was to always go for 2nd opinions on things. Trust God and don't let the devil's bumps in the road distract you. I got so wrapped up in emotions yesterday that I questioned things that I shouldn't have. I'm ashamed to say that. The devil is sneaky and fake. He doesn't want us to be happy.
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