'll start walking your way and you'll start walking mine, we'll meet in the middle beneath that old Georgia Pine. We'll gain a lot of ground if we both give a little. Ain't no road to long when you meet in the middle.'
This is quite possibly one of my favorite songs as far as marriage advice goes. It's so simple and can be interpreted a few ways but I think it's crucial marital advice. Marriage is ALL about compromise and sacrifice. You meet in the middle and do things that you might not other wise do for your spouse. From the huge things like career changes and moving to minor things like what you're eating for dinner. The only way that a marriage can truly be successful is if it is full of compromise and compassion. If you both put each others desires and needs first you will always have a mutual respect for one another. Brian and I are naturally stubborn people. We like to do things our own way and don't really like to give up on something that we want or feel. For us compromising wasn't always easy. In fact, most if not all of our disagreements in the first year of our marriage was over us not wanting to 'give up' on what we wanted. We have learned over time just how important compromise is and now it's surprisingly instinctive. We hardly ever have a hard time agreeing. We both have faith in each other and trust one another so we know that no matter what ends up happening or who ends up winning the compromise, it'll be okay. Life for us had held many big choices. Some of which I 'won' and some of which he did. Most of the time we meet in the middle and find a way to both get what we want. For example our last situation was about the new house. I really want distressed antique white cabinets in the kitchen but Brian hates them. I finally decided that I would let him have the cabinets that he wants, a knotty medium/dark wood. A week or so after we came to that agreement we were discussing flooring and wants flooring that matches the cabinets but I love the look of weathered barn wood flooring so he agreed to let me pick the flooring. I'm OCD about a lot of things so I may not like the cabinets with barn wood flooring but we will see.
That's just a mild example of what our compromises look like.
In marriage we are faced with choices daily pretty much and compromise is critical. You both have to be willing to give some or else your marriage will be a constant fight.
Brian and I bicker like all couples but I can honestly say that because we have learned to be great compromisers actual fights are rare. Take it from two of the most stubborn people out there, if we can get to the point of always compromising naturally, any one can.
To us marriage is just like parenthood. Life isn't about you anymore, it's about your spouse (and your kids when you're a parent).
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