OH BOY! Less than a week into mentioning that I’m going back to school part time and I’ve already heard a snide comment about it. You do nothing but sit on your ass if you are a stay at home mom and you aren’t cherishing enough of your time with your babies if you’re a working mom. You can’t win for losing as a mother. Someone, somewhere is going to have something negative to say about your choices. I stayed at home for going on 7 years and physically raised 4 children (at one point i was raising 5 under 5 when we fostered) mostly on my own. My husband supports us financially and always has but the physical raising was 85% done by me. He is amazing and helps when he can but he also works more than most men and when he does get home from work he works on farm chores until dark. I give him all of the praise for our financial survival. Honestly, part of what excites me to work outside of the home is so that i can buy him nice things all by myself. I’ve surprised him with little stuff like OSU football tickets and i paid his way on a trip to Colorado with his buddies. But that was with money from selling MLM products and doing photography. Those pay checks don’t buy big stuff and i had to save for a long time to afford the small stuff. I have to plan weeks to months in advance to save enough of my own money just to buy him basic gifts. The thought of easily being extra ON MY OWN thrills me. At one point a year or so ago i saw a girl who stays at home and doesn’t have a paying job say that she “got her husband a fully loaded brand new truck” as a gift. Like, no! Unless you have $50k plus stashed out from some freak side job that you’ve never mentioned, you didn’t buy him shit. You have no income and couldn’t get approved for a loan on your own. You are not paying that payment. He is. Give your man the credit that he deserves. I have watched Brian work so hard all of our marriage and i literally can not wait to lift some of the financial burden off of him. Child birth and breastfeeding empowers me dramatically but i think helping our family financially will be empowering too.
I am more than pumped to finally finish the small amount of schooling that i have left and start my career but negative comments do bring me down a bit. It’s already going to be hard to leave Eilee. Even though she will be with Brian and it’ll only be 22 hours a week it is still going to be hard. Judgement for outsiders doesn’t help. For a split second it makes me feel guilty. I already have that insecurity — what if I’m not doing the right thing but at the end of the day i know that’s just my mom heart talking. The heart that’s done nothing but raise babies nearly all of my adult life. It’s all that i know and change is scary. I’m doing what’s right for everyone though and it’ll be so worth it. The solution that I’ve settled on is a perfect blend. It’s ideal for many reasons. I’m so passionate about the beauty industry and i want to learn more constantly. I want to grow as a cosmetologist and make up artist. I want to branch out and continuously grow my knowledge in the beauty world for my whole career. I spend hours each night after my family goes to bed watching tutorials and taking online courses to learn new techniques for hair and make up. I have done it since i made my mind up to pursue the beauty world going on 8 years ago. I’m obsessed with it.
All of that to say to you (and to myself), do not let snide comments make you doubt yourself. Whether you stay at home forever and simply be a homemaker or you’ve worked full time from the day that your child was born, if you are confident and happy with your choice that’s all that matters. Or maybe you don’t have a choice, that’s fine too. You are doing what you have to do for your family! You are an inspiration. I’m so tired of the stigmas if you work or if you don’t work. What is best for one person or family isn’t always going to be what’s best for another. It’s not anyone’s damn place to say ANYTHING negative about it. As my husband said when i was ranting to him about this, “Just tell them bye, Felicia!” hahahaha. **Reason #83959299503 that i love him**
Also, we are leaving for Florida so i will be away from the blog for a week. I will post when we return and include some of our family pictures from the beach session. I’m SO excited about them. I have several friends who just returned from Destin and the water is stunning there right now. I’m pumped and ready to live some ‘mermaid hair & salty air’ life. Have a great weekend and week, y’all. Love & light!
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