Brian and i have been together for 9 1/2 year. We have had major ups and major downs — LIKE ALL COUPLES. We’ve let ourselves grow apart and fought our way back together. We’ve considered ending our relationship more than once. But despite our differences some how, some way, we always come out on top. We always learn from our struggles and are better people because of it. We do not have a simple history. We do not have this perfect, dare i say boring marriage. It’s exciting. It’s scary. It’s fun. It’s serious. It’s as easy as breathing. It’s tough. It’s every emotion that you can think of all rolled up into one. It’s a decade of experiences and growth. It’s a decade of knowing that our love for one another trumps our momentary hardships. I was 19 when i got married. I was brand new out of high school. I was selfish and inconsiderate. I was spoiled. I wanted what i wanted, the instant that i wanted it. However, I’m proud to say that I’m not that girl anymore. I’m still determined. I still have wants that i try to make happen if possible but i do not sacrifice my husbands happiness for those wants, even if he tells me to. I know him. I don’t need him to tell me that he doesn’t really want something/agree with something that i already know his stance on. Marriage is about sacrifice and equality. It’s about compromise and respect. It’s about putting your own wishes aside simply because you love your spouse enough to not slap them in the face by doing/getting every single little thing that you want. It’s no secret that Brian and i went through the hardest time in our marriage earlier this year. It was 6 weeks of hell but i wouldn’t take it back. Not one moment. We’ve learned to listen on a deeper level. To respect on a deeper level. To love on a deeper level. To forget about the outside world and focus on our own happiness. We will never be perfect but I’m good with that. I have pride in how hard that man fought for me and how hard i fought for him. We could have given up so easily but our love for each other wouldn’t let us. It seriously brings tears to my eyes to sit in this chair and type this as i look across the room at the man who has never turned his back on me. To know how passionately i am loved despite my flaws. To know that he has stuck with me as I’ve grown and changed into the person that i am today. The person who puts everyone else above myself. The person who respects my husband enough to be thankful for what we have and not demand more out of him when i know that he’s not on the same page as me. The person who he can trust with anything because he knows that I’ll take care of it whole heartedly. The person who asks before jumping to conclusions because I’ve learned to always give people the benefit of the doubt. The person who could care less about gossip or low life shit talkers grasping at straws to tear generally happy people down in their moments of weakness. The person who has taken care of our home and children physically for 7 years. If me “blowing all of my husbands money on kids clothes” is the worst thing that can honestly be said about me, ILL TAKE IT. Gladly ha. I’m proud of my life. I’m proud of who i am. I’m proud of my loyalty. I’m proud of my marriage. I’m proud to say that I’ve been with the same man for all of my adult life. I pride myself in my faithfulness and no one can genuinely say anything other wise about me. I’m proud of who i am as a mom. I’m proud of everything that i do for my family. I’m proud of the sacrifices I’ve made. I’m proud of where i am at. I’m proud of where my relationship with my man is at. I’m thankful for the ability to have this newlywed, obsessed with each other love after almost 10 years. I giggle when he flirts with me. I get excited when i see that he’s calling me. It’s such an amazing place. It erases the chaos that we went through for that short period of time. If we can continue to find ourselves in this kind of happy place after all of this time, i know that what we have was worth the fight and always will be.
Don’t let anything stop you from your own joy. Don’t let anyone stop you from being a better and bigger person. Don’t be selfish in your marriage. Know that the tiny amount of struggles that you may have does not wipe away the 10 years of happiness that you have. Know that if you can survive the hard times, learn from them, and be better all around because of them, you are winning in life! Shitty days make the happy days worth cherishing so much more. Hold great value in the vows that you took. You aren’t always going to want to be married. Marriage will be a choice at times and not a feeling. Don’t give it up without a good fight. And if you’ve found your soul mate, you’ll know it. You’ll know it just like i know it because despite all of the reasons that you have to give up on that person, your connection won’t be able to be broken. You’ll be pulled together like gravity. It’s inevitable.
Post a Comment