Sleep? What’s that?! If you’ve been around for awhile you know that my baby did not sleep the first 2 months of her life. Unlike her siblings who slept so well from birth that i actually had to wake them up to feed them, she was up every 30-60 minutes to nurse on her own. It was rough. I was used to getting plenty of sleep and it was my first time having extended periods of no sleep. Brian couldn’t help me because i breastfed full time. I couldn’t go nap because i had 3 other kids to raise all day (summer break) plus again, even if mom or Brian could sit with Eilee i was the only one who could feed her. Not to toot the pity party horn but ‘toot-toot’.
Fast forward to a week and a half ago — after 9 months of co-sleeping/sleeping with my boob in E’s mouth we decided to convert her to her bedroom. We were getting less and less sleep from her nursing all night/being in bed with us. She had slept in her bed one night a few months ago while i was gone and she ironically slept the entire night. Didn’t fuss once or wake up hungry. I was shocked when Brian told me how well it went. I didn’t believe, to be honest. He has encouraged me since then to try that being her new bed time routine. Mind you, Eilee naps every day in her room. We have a great nap time routine where i nurse her then lay her down in her bed awake and walk out. She doesn’t make a peep and goes right to sleep. (Once or twice a day i do hold her while she naps though. She’s only a baby once and i know how much I’ll miss this.) So it’s not like she wasn’t used to her room and her crib but i just had major anxiety over it.
Well finally after realizing that although she slept all night in my bed, i was never actually falling into a sufficient sleep state because she nursed me all night, i agreed to try her sleeping in her room.
Night one, slept 8 1/2 hours. Not a peep.
Night two, slept 9 hours. Not a peep.
Night three-eleven, slept 9-11 hours. NOT A PEEP.
Shocking, i know.
But guess who hasn’t slept AT ALL in eleven nights?
Me!
Guess who has stalked the baby monitor for eleven nights?
Me!
Guess who has almost gotten her up out of her peaceful sleep and taken her to my bed a million times a night?
Me!
Guess who has climbed the stairs over and over checking in on her even though i can see her on the monitor?
Me!
Why am i like this? What is wrong with me? Why can’t i just be thrilled and sleep as well as everyone else in my house does? I say this often but I’m literally the walking dead. It’s a miracle that I’m still functioning. Not just functioning but raising 4 kids, taking care of wifely duties, making dinner, cleaning house, doing laundry, planning parties, running errands, etc AND on top of that I’ve been going to the gym to workout and tan after bed time. Did i mention that my marriage has amazingly survived all of this eventfulness? Oh yeah, it has. In fact, Brian’s a proud little dude. He’s living the dream life. He got his wife back in bed all alone at night and sleeps like an angel now that he’s not having to worry about rolling on Eilee.
Here is a fact for you, mom life gets harder with time. My kids get harder with time. We are in that bratty “know it all” stage with the bigs and i want to send them off to get-some-fucking-manners school. Blah.
But I’m thankful. I’m blessed. I’m happy. Yay me...
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