As a stay at home mom with soon to be 4 children some might think that my life is 'boring'. I mean, how exciting could things be when you spend your days with preschoolers and rarely leave the house? How exciting could things be when you've been with the same man for 9 years? How exciting could things be when you are 27 and can count on 3 fingers how many times you've been drunk? How exciting can things be when you never party? How exciting could things be when you live on a farm in a small town? How exciting can such an ordinary life be?
Here's the thing, I find complete excitement in my kids learning new things. I find excitement in never ever having missed a big moment of my kids lives. I find excitement in late night talks in bed with my husband. I find excitement in the fact that I've almost spent a decade with the same person. I find excitement in the bond that we've created over that time period. I find excitement in falling more and more in love with each other every day. I find excitement in watching animals be born on the farm. I find excitement in how solid my life is. I find pure joy and happiness in the ordinary. Some people search their entire lives to find a place of joy. Some people never find it. Some people don't know how to find joy in the ordinary. Some people think that to be happy you need to have an over the top, wild, never settled life. To me those people couldn't be more wrong. To me there's nothing more amazing than being content and settled in the simplest of times. We must all learn to find the joy in ordinary things. You can't spend your life looking for the next best thing. You can't rob yourself of living the life that you have. Even in the bad times there is always something to be thankful for. Always!
Mom and wife life for me is the only life that I wanted. It wasn't an easy journey to get here. In fact, it was very hard emotionally, mentally, and physically at times. I didn't trust boys at all. I was a shut off soul with walls a mile high around my heart. I went through a lot of betrayal and bullshit prior to meeting Brian and I thought that I was forever damaged because of that. Nope. Brian swooped in and broke down every insecurity that I've ever had. He built me up and showed me what real love was. His love for me was genuine and obvious. So obvious that my parents (who wanted to hate him because he was 11 years older and I was barely an adult) fell in love with him quickly because of the way that he loved me. He fought for me to their faces when I tried to push him away. He cried to them about losing me when he thought that I wasn't ready for commitment. He still to this day talks to them when I'm upset and he isn't sure how to help. There were times when I got mad at them because I felt like they took his side over mine ha. He's their son as much as I'm their daughter and they will tell you that. He's impossible not to love because his love runs so deep. Once we got married we spent years trying to grow our family. We did fertility treatments and reproductive testing in Little Rock, AR. We spent thousands and thousands of dollars. We went through a failed adoption after our 2nd IVF failure. It was heart break after heart break. Once we were finally blessed with children we experienced reoccurring miscarriages as we continued to try and grow our family. We've made it through almost losing my dad twice, fostering, selling a farm that Brian built from the ground up 13 years ago, building our dream home, and now struggling to carry our rainbow baby full term plus so much more. Ordinary for us is a gift! It's something that we fought hard for. It's something that we wanted more than anything. It's a beautiful thing. It's peaceful. It's our happy place.
No matter where you are at in life or what you are doing find joy in the simplest of things. That's when you know that you are truly and ridiculously happy. When on your most 'boring' days, you feel like you couldn't possibly be any more blessed.
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