God's Plan & Learning to Accept It

For as long as I can remember I have been a list making, schedule pushing, obsessively over planning type of a gal. I find peace in writing everything down and organizing my mind onto paper. Not only basic everyday life plans but also important long term plans. I was going to graduate high school, move to NYC, work for some fancy clothing boutique or fashion magazine, live in a quant Brooklyn apartment, spend a few years single and finding myself with girl friends, meet a professional business suite 'Prince Charming' in an over the top magical moment, and live a life like you see in all of the cute Hallmark movies. Instead I met a sweet cowboy prince the summer before my senior year of high school, got married 2 weeks after graduation, did 4 semesters of college for early childhood education, hated school so I dropped out and got my cosmetology degree instead. We had all of these plans to have babies right away and live a perfect little life. Two kids back to back, wait 5 years, and have two more kids back to back. Miscarriages and surprise pregnancies weren't in that plan. A failed adoption wasn't in that plan. Moving out of the house that built our family to move into our dream home wasn't in that plan. Possibly moving to a small beach town in Florida wasn't in the plans either. Just about every single plan that I had for my life went astray. It took me a very long time to accept that my plans for myself are rarely ever what God's plans for me are. 

I'm naturally a control freak. I don't like not having a plan or not knowing what to expect. I get anxiety even thinking about. However, I'm learning through experiences that His plans for me are a million times more amazing than anything that I had planned for myself. Even if I have to go through heartbreak that never seems to end just to get to the rainbow after the storm, His plan for me is more perfect than anything that I could of dreamt of. 

At this point I should honestly give up being a life planner because God seems to enjoy throwing curve balls my way ha. He surprises me so often that you'd think that I'd be used to it but some how I end up more shocked every time that it happens. My life isn't my life. My plans aren't my plans. My schedule isn't my schedule. Everything about me and my future belongs to the Lord. As hard as it's been for me to let go of what I thought that I wanted, I will always be thankful for what I've been given and WHEN I've been given it. I go to bed every single night and praise God for blessing me more than I could ever deserve. I love my family with every ounce of my being and I love watching it grow and change on His terms. 

If you're struggling with what God's plan is for you. If you're questioning it or not understanding it just know that whatever He has planned is going to blow your own plans out of the water. His plans are always perfect. His timing is always perfect. He is always perfect. Stay strong and enjoy the journey. Enjoy the sad times but more importantly enjoy the rainbow after the storm that's meant just for you ❤️💛💚💙💜

Here's to us enjoying and celebrating God's plan for our lives. Surprises and all!